My name is Su-Yen
Or I could also be Yennie or Yen.
I am seventeen going on a hundred.
I like long walks and country sides.
I like the smell of rain and trees.
This is my blog, Though I'm not sure what it's actually for.
Maybe I want attention. Like yay! x)
No seriously, maybe I do.
Saturday, 30 January 2010!
LAMENTED AT; 5:17 pm
Leaving On a Jet Plane
You must have read like a million goodbye notes by now, but I feel like i need to officially say this to all of you.
Thank you for always being there for me and making sec school amazing. Somehow I always thought sec school would be so much drama, tears and would have lots of cat fights and boy troubles.
The truth is all the girl friends i've made have been more than just nice. We get along so well and we are our own support system. We might not all be close but we trust each other and confide to whomever we see. I'm so thankful that I've been able to grow up in this environment.. Not many people are as blessed.
And to the guys I've been around, ya'll are a terrific bunch and I'm not just saying it. Even my parents realise this and they all see great things in you. No one's perfect, but the great thing is all of you try your best to be good people.
looking back at all this, I honestly don't think I've deserved half the things you've done for me prior to me leaving. I wasn't expecting anything big at all... i guess it just comes from years of being so quiet and unoticed. i just want you to know that I appreciate all the effort.
Thank You XiaoYun
for the notes, the hugs. you'll always be my best friend no matter what. We don't need words remember? :)
Thank you Wai
for always listening to me when I am on my rambling modes. Thank you for dragging me out of that pit of depression last year when I thought i was distant from everyone. And the note, the presents, EVERYTHING.
Thank you SueAnn f
or the photoframe and the really nice note. I'll miss you so much package half.
Tan Li Li
, thank you for always being there to listen and reason with me. OH AND FOR FUN FACTS. and hat!! I like, its soft. You'll do just fine here dear. :)
For Jo, Dan, Tam Cynthia, Suyin
and everyone who said something in the video scrap book. It made me tear so badd... Like, yeah. THANK YOU JO FOR DROPPING IT OFF AND PUTTING IT TOGETHER.
!! lake club days!! :)
OH and ALEX HOOI
, thank you for picking me up and makan-ing with me, for the advice and for the assurance and the blogpost!
Sighh, so many other people to thank. THANK YOU. THANK YOU. THANK YOU
. haha okay I'm getting very nostalgic now, can you tell?
But yeaahh, I'll be alright over there... I'm just so overwhelmed by everyone saying goodbye. I love you guys. I don't deserve it!!!
SHALL MISS YOU.
OHH, I will still be blogging so you haven't heard the end of me. you may not see me in 9 months but my blog will still be alive. Check for updates here.
ADD ME ON SKYPE!!
So i guess this will be my last post from KL ( in 9 months)
Will tell you how it is over there, soon. :)
lots of love.
Friday, 29 January 2010!
LAMENTED AT; 1:03 am
Credits to Xiao Yun
who very patiently helped me change my font size for me so it is more readable. Thank you Xiao Yun!
I will blog soon... Yeah, definitely gotta do that before i leave. Tomorrow. :)
Monday, 18 January 2010!
LAMENTED AT; 8:56 pm
I think I've figured out why I go an hiatus every once in a while.
it turns out, its not really random. I realised i stop blogging when there is something bothering me or occupying my very blank (because no college) mind.
So maybe, perhaps until i get things sorted out our my feelings and emotions back on track, I will probably not really be blogging.
But I'd never close this blog. No matter how depressing or pointless my posts get, I'll always have my faithful chocolatecoatedbattery. you just gotta wait for the posts worth reading. :)
Never ever till I die will I change my blog! Maybe one day when I'm old and rickety I will reread all my posts and reminisce about how things were before. I want to always be reminded of the state of mind I was once in embarrassing ones and all.
Labels: blog, Jude
Thursday, 14 January 2010!
LAMENTED AT; 1:19 pm
I know how to be fine when I'm not.
It's a skill and blessing. :)
you know you are in deep when you realize no matter how much you fight it, you will always can't help but love someone. Despite telling yourself that it's not good for you and thinking of the consequences time and time again, you just can't stop.
You know it's in deep when your pride is hurt and it goes against what you would normally say or do and you do care- just, not enough to mind. or if you do mind, it' not enough for you to change things.
You know you love someone when you're prepared to face the worst situations and accept the circumstances for what they are without the sugar coating or pretty packaging on the outside.
I've always wondered why people bother loving someone who will never love them back. That person is obviously not worth your time if he or she can't appreciate you for who you are and take you for granted. But what if, he does- just not enough and you can't justify it. You can't prove it. You get a glimpse every now and then but before you get suspicious, everything is normal? But through it all... Even with your battered pride and everything you fight for, this person, you think, is worth it.
Do we delude ourselves with such fairy tales?
Is it a choice we make that will decide the outcome? Or is the outcome already pre-decided.
That puts you in a rather precarious situation though, you are at a forked road where you can either choose to move on or keep going. if you had a logical no-nonsense mind, you'd most probably be able to make that decision albeit the heart ache.
I've not made my choice. I'm afraid to make one and hesitant for the other. Until then it is limbo..
And perhaps through this entry, I've just been trying to find a more flowery way of framing the situation. perhaps it is just that simple, but our minds feel better if we write about it in a more complicated manner so as to justify the time spent thinking of it. A simple narration of the scenario would seem rather primitive to worry over.
Do we write things down to get them out of our heads? So that we feel like this burden atop our minds disappears once we do? Or do we just want the world's sympathy so we can carry on with whatever we might be doing without feeling guilty about being down when everyone's merry.
And it's okay if you have go away
Oh just remember the telephone works both ways
And if I never ever hear them ring
If nothing else I'll think the bells inside
Have finally found you someone else and that's okay
Cause I'll remember everything you sang
Cause you and I both loved.