There's Always Tomorrow

2011-02-02T11:56:00.003+08:00

Just at the flick of an eye, my blog has become very emotionally charged; I realised.

It's not that I've lost my optimism. In fact, I think I've never been so realistically optimistic. Because I think, the true test of optimism is seeing the best in situations no matter how hopeless one may be; and being able to genuinely smile even though things don't turn out.

It is opening your eyes to a different perspective and one that surpasses everyone's primary emotions, including your own. it is seeing the bigger picture and picturing the best outcome- that not all seemingly hopeless situations have to turn out that way. It is a mindset that requires detachment and taking the high road. Last of all, it is where you have to partially forget how you feel for a moment and think of how the situation may benefit another, more than yourself.

The road to optimism is giving people the benefit of the doubt and at the same time being prepared to be proven wrong. It is also being able to find that grace in you to forgive that person who has proven you wrong should he prove you wrong, and forgiveness meaning not harboring any ill feelings after things are over. The road to optimism is truly a WWJD (what would Jesus do) situation. And I do believe it is unachievable without looking for God for grace in the first place.

Will you get taken for granted for being so accommodating? Are people likely to take advantage of you? Is your significant other half going to find you too easy?

Sadly yes.

No, I am not implying anything, but just give it a thought. Us being humans, we don't know what we truly have until it walks out of our lives.

So before you take advantage or under appreciate someone in your life, stop and think. what would you do if they walked out of yours having given it their best, and had enough.

2010-12-19T20:48:00.005+08:00

Change.

Situations change, Perspectives change, goals change, people change.

Or could it be that the said change had always been in us- that all we needed were certain variables to alter this specific course we deem "normal" at that time; ie: the time of pre-change.

Sometimes we're so obsessed over what we used to be. We live in the past, even though the present screams change. We live thinking we have to fit the mold in which we first perceived ourselves at the beginning; as if that very first mold is our own idealistic and perfect image of ourselves.

Change is inevitable. Like the concept of evolution, we have to fight to stay relevant in order to survive. Maybe someone who was always on the losing end comes up fighting or maybe someone timid and shy ends up vivacious and outgoing. The question is, did these people develop this sudden "change" or had they always had it in them to be that change?

The truth is, there is a little of both though the ratio might differ from one individual to another. We can always say that we've had it in us from the beginning, or that life has just beaten it out of us. Who or what gives us the right to judge change when we are all equally subjected to it?

Every one knows that all change is not bad. People say it all the time but not many believe it or choose to understand it. The word is still very much associated with negativity and tension specifically regarding friends.

Maybe the worst effect of change would be when we ourselves are unable to cope with it on a personal level. Maybe we can't accept ourselves any more because we're still attached to the earlier discussed pre-change mode that we deem "truly" ourselves? And the moment this happens, we're doomed. After all, how do we expect people to be socially accepting of us when we are first and foremost unable to do that with ourselves?

If you're like someone I know who struggles with this, please do yourselves a favour and cut yourself some slack. No one including yourself has the right to tell you how you should be. All you need to do is always live with the best of intentions in mind and MAKE way for change.

because well, change is inevitable. and you know what? with a bit of luck, the pre-change us might just make an appearance and somehow find itself into our lives again.

best of both worlds?

2010-10-28T18:20:00.002+08:00

Tell me this is just a nightmare.

Just when you think you're happy, things change.

2010-07-06T00:10:00.002+08:00

There's always tomorrow.

I like that. For a fifteen year old who started blogging, I must say i had some wise wisdom. Who knew that three years down the track, I'd actually help my older self.

The fact is, no one of us can ever lose hope if we believe that there is always tomorrow. You can be miserable where you are, but as long as you keep my humble blog name in mind, you're pretty much optimistic.

It's interesting to wonder what advice you'd give yourself if you could go back in time. What warnings and encouragement you'd tell you if you met you for just a brief moment. it could be as remedial as telling yourself not to fall for someone... or telling yourself to fall for someone... hey, the list is endless ain't it?

But you know, what really matters while we grow up is not the situations that take us by the throat and potentially threaten to push us off balance. But rather, how we deal with these situations that make us who we are. For that, would it be the same if we were to advice ourselves not to do something or to do something way back when? Then, we'd not KNOW for sure the right path, we'd just HEAR about it and that's not enough.

I've always refrained from writing anything personal here, simply because i'm not going to ever filter who reads what i type on this little screen of mine. Like right now i'm thinking of something else, but am completely talking around the issue.

I have yet again managed to confuse myself.

I amaze me. yay!

2010-05-16T19:08:00.002+08:00

Every Little Thing..

Today... I came to realise that there is a lot of wild life right where I live!

I mean, I knew there was wild life - I'd seen it, probably heard it and smelt it too; but today was just one of those days where I really noticed it. I also come to realise that it is these small things that make me happy. :) For instance...

On the road intersecting one of the gate entries, I see a family of ducks crossing happily and waddling away like they own the place.

As I pass the moat and cross the bridge, I see a few more ducks waddling in the water oblivious that they are right smack in the middle of a densely populated university in Melbourne.

Then... You keep walking and on the curb approaching the main bus stops, you see all sort of shit on the ground. You look up.. and there you see a few dozen Cockatoos up in the trees and if you're lucky a few on the ground pecking away at invisible food on the floor.

I've also seen a kangaroo (i kid you not) once crossing one of the roads. aahh, cute little creatures.

Life's pretty alright here. I miss home a lot, and every time I look at the sky and see a plane I think of how happy I'll be getting on that flight home. When the plane passes I see the open sky and the stars that dot it... then I realise how happy I am being here where I can actually see stars. Trust me, the little things in life are worth thinking about. ;)

Shall attempt to take some pictures of campus next time. Till then!

2010-05-10T22:00:00.002+08:00

I've realised my blog has become a place of emotional refuge these few months.

Long posts are so easily thought of, I usually just dump all my thoughts at the end of the month here. I shall instead work on writing some simple, few worded entries. cut out all the fluff and get straight to the point.

soon.

If you're reading this now, thanks for occasionally thinking of me and clicking on my link.

Love always,
Yenniiieee.

p/s: everyone here doesn't know i have a blog and i will keep it that way. :)

2010-03-22T19:31:00.002+08:00

I am alive!

yeah, i know... haven't gotten to blogging since i got here. Reason being, I just don't want to think about my situation now. it's not that its horrible, I'm quite alright here. it's just that when i think about what to tell all of you back home, I'm lost for words seeing as I'm going through so much now. To try and document everything would be killer, so I'll save these experiences for when I come home and tell all of you. For now though, I'll blog about self discoveries and minute observations I've made during my time here.

The first month here was bad. Really bad, so I hit rock bottom. And since the 1st of March, everything sort of mellowed out and didn't hurt as bad. with reference to my previous post, it was about accepting the way things were and not comparing.

People say that going through a new experience changes you. College changes you, relationships change you and going to a new country certainly changes you. Sometimes we generalise change as bad, and that's when it gets dangerous. I'm not going to lie, there is a high possibility that I will come back different. I don't know how different, but enough to make you think about it for a while. I've never claimed to be perfect and i will never dare to think I am worse off or better than anyone. So first of all, I'd like to apologize in advance if I come back changed, and you don't like it. I apologize not for changing, but for the fact that you can't accept it. Don't worry, I'm not about to do rash things.. But this is just in case.

being here gives me a lot of alone time. The thing I love most probably, is the freedom to do random stuff when i want to anywhere. I can take long walks around campus, on the road and out to the streets if i wanted to. I love knowing that right now, If i really wanted to, I could catch the train to the city and ride the trams the whole night. Though, that probably wouldn't be a good idea!

And during those times I spend alone (which is quite a lot) I ponder and think about everything under the sun. I strongly believe that over analysing can be the downfall of anyone, so I try to do my analysing in a more constructive way. I try looking for the bright sides in situations. i tell myself that surviving college is the stepping stone to far greater things, and that right now if i had the power to redo something in my life or make a different decision, i wouldn't change anything. Such is the power of blind faith in God, that everything I do is for a reason and I'm here for a purpose.

I've done one stupid thing in particular while being here that doesn't really haunt me, but it agitates me. it's a lesson that speaks for itself and is caused by trying to get away from things. I wanted so much to escape from the real world that I fell. That's what gets me though, not that I did it, but the fact that thinking about it, I couldn't have stopped. I couldn't have seen it any other way. I let myself down. But who do you cling to in these times? I've tried so hard to be strong but for that split moment i guess I had to break.

At times like these, I question relationships so much. we're all looking for somebody, we can't deny it. We look for that person we want to understand us, to love us for everything we are, to appreciate what we do for them and to love us for it. I've often had pride issues. But today, after my long walk, i came to the conclusion that admitting weakness is strength. it's the strength that starts from accepting your weakness and being humble about it in effort to overcome it.

With that and no one in particular I want to confide in, I admit that I have a strong yearning to be appreciated and accepted. I question my past relationship. Everything was so perfect, but I keep asking myself if I was just living my fantasy or if it were really real. It takes so much out of me, not being able to let go and harboring this feeling of insecurity that perhaps it wasn't quite so mutual as I thought. He doesn't know that I was so upset. He wants to move on and go on with life like everything's completely fine. Well I'm done with fine, for once i don't want to follow this clear-cut straight path, knowing the right thing to do is great, but considering each other's feelings are equally important. i realise it's selfish. If he really cared about me, he'd give me the time of day to at least try to comfort me. It hurts to think that maybe I wasn't worth all that. Maybe I shouldn't have given him so much. The feelings were real when they were there, but i can't bare that they evaporated just like that when i left.

I'm not one to cry and be pathetic over a relationship or a situation. I usually get up and try again with my blind optimism that things will be better. But sooner or later, my optimism is bashed down again, and i have to sit and lick my wounds. The recovery is slow and tedious but I do it anyway, for my sake. All I want right now is closure. I know I have got no right to demand that of him, and I'm such a chicken for posting it here, but it's something I think I deserve. For once, could he just get down of his high horse and give me a hand up?

With this relationship at the back of my mind, how does it not interfere with the decisions I make here? it haunts me and follows me around. I hate giving someone that satisfaction, I hate looking dependent; But admitting weakness is overcoming it. And that's exactly what I am doing here. Perhaps if I wrote this down publicly, It'd give me a new perspective on things. To forget and move on is so hard, especially now when I'm so lonely here. I'm not short of friends, mind you - I'm just short of people I can actually relate to. It's easy for him to say that It will be okay, He has his friends and his distractions. The loneliness he feels is probably a fraction of what i feel. I've got nothing to cling on to except God, and admittedly even he feels so distant sometimes. occasionally, we need that physical security blanket.

it's a tough world but we gotta soldier on. I've got to soldier on. I have had enough of my past, I'm not angry or malicious about it, but I just wish it would leave me alone. i shouldn't let it take control of me and influence my better judgment, but when you're clinging on as hard as you can already, what's that little push from making you fall?

2010-03-02T08:30:00.003+08:00

Around the River Bend.

How many times have we counted our blessings? how many times will it take for us to learn from our same old mistakes; if we make them again, would those mistakes be deemed redundant? Attachment is a word we've all felt before, it's not so much a bunch of letters describing a feeling... It has become more of an emotion. you don't relate attachment to just anything, because to be attached there has to be something that's worth enough of your time to be attached to.

The very fact that you experience attachment is because that something has grown on you so much and you've gotten used to the idea so well, that you'd be at a loss if it were to disappear just like that. I've lived my life with so much attachments. i don't believe in being detached for the sake of not being hurt. Though, now that I think about it, I have switched on the defensive mechanism earlier on, I just made a mental note to switch it off because being detached is worse than feeling hurt. Believe me, it is. So how did I fare during the time when i let loose and let my heart speak for itself? It was great. You should all try it.

life is too short to hold back (unless it's something utterly stupid like taking drugs). We spend way too much time complaining about how life could be if we were that way or this, I know i do it. instead, if we were to hit that rock bottom phase in a certain situation where we expect that things will NOT get any better, a certain calm or panic depending on what kind of person you are will hit you. it is a realization that you have left your old life behind, you can't compare what you have now to what you had, it's a different story alltogether.

Come to think of it, great phases in your life all start from uncertainty and doubt. Knowing that you are in a position whereby the odds seem to be against you helps, as funny as that sounds because most people tell you to be optimistic. Being in a crappy situation while people tell you to be optimistic is annoying. But being optimistic about a crappy situation on your own and admitting things might always be bad is alright. Hence, the word that best describes it is "acceptance".

Acceptance of the way things are right now, regardless of how insanely lonely or sad things might get. While I tend to wallow in it from time to time, I think of it as having a period of time to self-discover myself, do things I never would have time to do, and think outside the box. Such is the spirit of a complete optimistic fool. no one's telling you you can't revert back to the type of person you were before the whole experience, but if anything, it would be God telling you that there is a part of life you have not experienced and need to learn. Maybe it's discovering a strength you had within yourself you never knew you had, or finding out things you never knew you could handle, or it could be coming out of the entire situation knowing you made the best of it, and feeling great about it.

Feelings are relative according to the type of situation you've been through; and so what is the next awful situation compared to this one? And I guess, what I am trying to say is... is that i miss home a lot. I miss the people I've grown attached to, the friends who make my life colourful and silly and who teach me to not take myself to seriously.

it's depressing to think that those times might never come back, but in the true spirit of optimism, I accept that it might be like that forever and though I might or may not move on, I'll live in the moment and "Find new meaning in daily norms." I want to come out of a trying situation knowing that I'd done my best to make the best of it, not complaining about how miserable a time i had during that period.

For the feelings I've never felt so strong in my life, I hope it comes back... Even if it takes 5 years. Even if it's not the same person, I just pray it comes back.

As for what i foolishly optimistically hope for, a friend will do; forget the social life. hahahahhahaa, I know i depress all of you! but too bad cause I'm being optimistic about sadness. How does anyone pull that off??

2010-02-02T19:29:00.004+08:00

Australia in a Nutshell

Hi Everyone, My first post from the land down under. Everything's alright here.. Nothing's really new except maybe the weather which is really moody. I'm currently staying in my uncle's place. It's near the beach!

in Australia, life starts when you are 18. Well for me anyway.. The Uni won't allow me to stay at the residential college till I'm 18 so that means I've got to homestay from the 8th (when my term starts) till the 21st. I was originally going to move in on the 22nd but the reception lady told me that they had a dinner on the 21st and orientation on the 22nd I didn't want to miss.

Yeah, So I'll be spending my birthday moving out of homestay lady's house...

The people over here are really nice. The sales girls chat with you and ask you about your day. They give you big smiles and are soo helpful. The public transport is awesome too! You can go anywhere anytime and EVERYTHING is right on time.

Went to see my uni/college too. The international college is not too bad, it's a building with a yellow entrace and there is quite a friendly feel to it. kind of like a foreign primary school. We explored the campus (uni campus). They have a moat and ducks but my cousin said the water has two strains of syphilis. Don't touch the water! The Uni center is called Agora (Ring a bell anyone?) It's the ancient greece public open space used for assemblies and markets.

The city is as usual hustling and bustling. We mad a stop to Melbourne U which is in the heart of everything. I think I'm bias but i like my duck and moats and trees. :) Oh, my residential college is brown! It looks pretty good.

So to sum it all up. i will be living in three places for these next few weeks. from now till the 7th I will be in Sandringham with my mum (uncles place) from the 8th till 20th i will be with the home stay lady, and FINALLy on the 21st I can move to my residential college in la trobe!

Pheww.. Just thinking about it makes me tired. I have so much stuff to take now. It's slowly building up now that I am buying all my toiletries and electrical appliances. I never realised how heavy and bulky jackets and winter wear can be! Now I will be equipped with a big suitcase, a small hand carry bag and a big box of stuff.

Anyway, here are some pictures of stuff. :)

Imy yun. :(

If we were older.

Taylors.

Thanks for sending me off. :)

Kebab's in Agora! haha. We are such tourists.

and I left my heart at home.

That's all! Shall be updating my blog about things here so stay tuned. :)

Miss all of you at home, have fun at college people!

love,
Yennie.

2010-01-30T17:17:00.000+08:00

Leaving On a Jet Plane

Dearest friends,

You must have read like a million goodbye notes by now, but I feel like i need to officially say this to all of you.

Thank you for always being there for me and making sec school amazing. Somehow I always thought sec school would be so much drama, tears and would have lots of cat fights and boy troubles.

The truth is all the girl friends i've made have been more than just nice. We get along so well and we are our own support system. We might not all be close but we trust each other and confide to whomever we see. I'm so thankful that I've been able to grow up in this environment.. Not many people are as blessed.

And to the guys I've been around, ya'll are a terrific bunch and I'm not just saying it. Even my parents realise this and they all see great things in you. No one's perfect, but the great thing is all of you try your best to be good people.

looking back at all this, I honestly don't think I've deserved half the things you've done for me prior to me leaving. I wasn't expecting anything big at all... i guess it just comes from years of being so quiet and unoticed. i just want you to know that I appreciate all the effort.

Thank You XiaoYun for the notes, the hugs. you'll always be my best friend no matter what. We don't need words remember? :)

Thank you Wai for always listening to me when I am on my rambling modes. Thank you for dragging me out of that pit of depression last year when I thought i was distant from everyone. And the note, the presents, EVERYTHING.

Thank you SueAnn for the photoframe and the really nice note. I'll miss you so much package half.

Tan Li Li, thank you for always being there to listen and reason with me. OH AND FOR FUN FACTS. and hat!! I like, its soft. You'll do just fine here dear. :)

For Jo, Dan, Tam Cynthia, Suyin and everyone who said something in the video scrap book. It made me tear so badd... Like, yeah. THANK YOU JO FOR DROPPING IT OFF AND PUTTING IT TOGETHER.

Tammy Lim!! lake club days!! :)

OH and ALEX HOOI, thank you for picking me up and makan-ing with me, for the advice and for the assurance and the blogpost!

Sighh, so many other people to thank. THANK YOU. THANK YOU. THANK YOU. haha okay I'm getting very nostalgic now, can you tell?

But yeaahh, I'll be alright over there... I'm just so overwhelmed by everyone saying goodbye. I love you guys. I don't deserve it!!!

SHALL MISS YOU.

OHH, I will still be blogging so you haven't heard the end of me. you may not see me in 9 months but my blog will still be alive. Check for updates here.

ADD ME ON SKYPE!!

chiasuyen

So i guess this will be my last post from KL ( in 9 months)

Will tell you how it is over there, soon. :)

lots of love.

Yennie

We Said Hi then Bye.

2010-01-29T01:03:00.000+08:00

Credits to Xiao Yun who very patiently helped me change my font size for me so it is more readable. Thank you Xiao Yun!

I will blog soon... Yeah, definitely gotta do that before i leave. Tomorrow. :)

2010-01-18T20:56:00.000+08:00

I think I've figured out why I go an hiatus every once in a while.

it turns out, its not really random. I realised i stop blogging when there is something bothering me or occupying my very blank (because no college) mind.

So maybe, perhaps until i get things sorted out our my feelings and emotions back on track, I will probably not really be blogging.

But I'd never close this blog. No matter how depressing or pointless my posts get, I'll always have my faithful chocolatecoatedbattery. you just gotta wait for the posts worth reading. :)

Never ever till I die will I change my blog! Maybe one day when I'm old and rickety I will reread all my posts and reminisce about how things were before. I want to always be reminded of the state of mind I was once in embarrassing ones and all.

2010-01-14T13:19:00.002+08:00

I know how to be fine when I'm not.

It's a skill and blessing. :)

you know you are in deep when you realize no matter how much you fight it, you will always can't help but love someone. Despite telling yourself that it's not good for you and thinking of the consequences time and time again, you just can't stop.

You know it's in deep when your pride is hurt and it goes against what you would normally say or do and you do care- just, not enough to mind. or if you do mind, it' not enough for you to change things.

You know you love someone when you're prepared to face the worst situations and accept the circumstances for what they are without the sugar coating or pretty packaging on the outside.

I've always wondered why people bother loving someone who will never love them back. That person is obviously not worth your time if he or she can't appreciate you for who you are and take you for granted. But what if, he does- just not enough and you can't justify it. You can't prove it. You get a glimpse every now and then but before you get suspicious, everything is normal? But through it all... Even with your battered pride and everything you fight for, this person, you think, is worth it.

Do we delude ourselves with such fairy tales?

Is it a choice we make that will decide the outcome? Or is the outcome already pre-decided.

That puts you in a rather precarious situation though, you are at a forked road where you can either choose to move on or keep going. if you had a logical no-nonsense mind, you'd most probably be able to make that decision albeit the heart ache.

I've not made my choice. I'm afraid to make one and hesitant for the other. Until then it is limbo..

And perhaps through this entry, I've just been trying to find a more flowery way of framing the situation. perhaps it is just that simple, but our minds feel better if we write about it in a more complicated manner so as to justify the time spent thinking of it. A simple narration of the scenario would seem rather primitive to worry over.

Do we write things down to get them out of our heads? So that we feel like this burden atop our minds disappears once we do? Or do we just want the world's sympathy so we can carry on with whatever we might be doing without feeling guilty about being down when everyone's merry.

And it's okay if you have go away
Oh just remember the telephone works both ways
And if I never ever hear them ring
If nothing else I'll think the bells inside
Have finally found you someone else and that's okay
Cause I'll remember everything you sang
Cause you and I both loved.

2009-12-24T14:29:00.000+08:00

Christmas Eve

I have decided that the worst chore you could possibly do is to vacuum. I hate vacuuming! The wires get stuck and the water gets disgusting and you don't get the same gratification as when you say, mop the floor and can actually visibly SEE what you've mopped and enjoy the gentle squeak of the clean floor after you are done.

Vacuuming is like sucking up invisible dust through a retarded nozzle. you don't feel the difference and the floor feels as grimy as it was before. It took my like 10 minutes to untangle the wire to get around the sitting room which is crowded with furniture! When I move out, I am going to pick an appartment/house with as little floor space as I can. That, or I'm hiring a maid.

I hate vacuuming!!

Luckily though my mum sensed my pain and offered to vacuum if I would mop. So mop I did!

It still feels like everyone is away somewhere... away away away...

I hope you don't mind that I put down in words,

How wonderful life is. :)

2009-12-13T18:24:00.004+08:00

Important Prom Notice!

So we've gotten the green light for the Box of Dirty Little Secrets from the prom committee. Here's how it's supposed to work.

First, you come to prom with a typed/written confession on a small piece of paper. You may sign it anonymously or if you really want to, leave a name.

Upon registration at 6.30PM on the 18th, feel free to drop that little piece of paper in the secret box. Yes, it's THAT simple.

Fear not! If you suddenly have the urge to confess something on the night itself and are not prepared, you may write it down with the stationary provided and drop it into the little box upon registering if you fancy.

NOTE: NO TAKE BACKS. if you drop it into the box, consider your dirty little secret exposed, literally.

Confessions and dirty little secrets will be read during prom. Hold on, sit tight, and don't forget your paper bags! (In case people figure out the secret's yours. )

P.S: This is NOT compulsory so don't feel obliged. you can of course sit back and have a laugh at other people's expanse. Though, we all are good ex wesleyans who take pride and participate in such events. riiggghhhttt? (;

Wishing all of you a very happy day. ;)

2009-12-13T01:11:00.001+08:00

Leaving on a Jetplane

dang it. In the short span of a few days, everyone's leaving the country...

One to Bangkok, one to the UK, another in UK and another to Japan.. :(

Oh well. let go out people!

2009-12-09T15:14:00.004+08:00

Oh my gosh...

So. much. junk. x)

2009-12-08T23:38:00.003+08:00

Free Woman Blogging.

whoopeee! this is like a paradox of dead man walking. Oh the terrific ironies of life. ;)

To-do-list for free woman on the 9th of December 2009

SLEEP IN & SLEEP WELL
THROW OUT all useless books.
RECYCLE all paper in exercise books by ripping out and making scarp paper
CLEAN OUT wardrobe with 70% of clothes I do not wear.
CHUCK OUT junk in room. ie: empty boxes, receipts, paper, broken parts etc.
CLEAN SHELF.
Involve self in HEALTHY DIET PLAN (note: not starve self. chocolate banned.)

Number 1 on my list is so because I have not been sleeping properly the entire month. it's horrible having to wake up every few hours before a paper from a nightmare about missing the paper or not knowing crap about it. Not so cool.

And the rest I've always wanted to do but have had absolutely no time at all to do. gosh, I've not been so happy in two years.

And so here's how I spent my first half day of freedom. :D

Yup, that's Cheng Yee's Pavi apartment. Well the first picture is the view from the balcony. Awesome awesome awesome. It reminds me of why I love the city. I love the country too, but there's something about cities that take your breath away. it just feels so important, like everyone who is anyone is right there. It's like the heart of a country, and this city will be your city your entire life. There is no place like home.

Initially we were with the other girls but we got kinda lazy to walk over to sg wang. I've promised myself a shopping trip there another day when i am not exhausted and not wearing heels. :)

Anyone care to join me?

SO YES, I am extremely terribly exhausted right now and am going achieve #1 on my to-do-list.

GOODNIGHT!! :D :D :D :D :D :D

2009-12-07T14:03:00.002+08:00

Sleigh Ride

Can you believe I've not been to a mall since I started studying for the spm?? up until this point, I have not seen a single Christmas decoration or felt the Christmas atmosphere at all. ziltch.

On the bright side, it's FINALLY FREEDOM in about 24 and a half hours and I will visit a mall to make up for very lost time.

I also encourage absolutely everyone to get Relient K's christmas album because they have the best Christmas album in the entire world. Absolutely a must. get it. go go go!!

I imagine sitting on a comfy couch in a bathrobe snuggled up near a fire with a cup of horlicks/coffee (Don't like milo) and looking out a window while it is snowing outside.

yeaaaaap. and maybe a hot guy next to me. (;

HAHA, a girl can dream. Here's my fav of the entire album.

P.S: the next time I blog I will be a free woman. :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

2009-12-06T23:23:00.001+08:00

Come on, say it. EMO.

I am very depressed. Have you realised that tuesday is going to be the OFFICIAL last day we'll ever be in school in uniform?

it's taken a while to sink it but it's the last last last day of high school. The last day of all us science people being in the same place at the same time. No more clipping up our hair, pulling up belts, yanking up socks and classroom barbers.

And the more I think of it, the more I don't want to leave. I'll be all... alone. :(

It feels like everything i feel comfortable with now is going to leave me soon. I've had that yanked out of me two years ago, and thanks to a lot of awesome people, I managed to get out of that but I can't help but wonder if the people I'd meet in the future would be as friendly and warm as the people I've met at school.

I don't want to go.. :( I'll miss you all.

2009-12-04T13:53:00.000+08:00

MOULIN ROUGE.

Did you know that Moulin Rouge is actually french? Did you also know that Moulin Rouge is french for "Red Windmill"? Did you also know that Moulin Rouge has won 2 oscars and loads of nominations?

and lastly, do you know that I am currently obsessed with it??!! (If you already didn't see it on FB)

how can you not love it??

Elephants! Arabians!

Indians! And courtesans!

Acrobats! and juggling bears!

Exotic girls! Fire eaters!

Muscle Men! Contortionists!

Intrigue, danger, and romance!

Electric lights, Machinery,

Powered with electricity!

So exciting, the audience will stomp and cheer!

So delighting, it will run for 50 years!

2009-12-01T00:42:00.001+08:00

Late Nights.

When you're at a loss for words you're just left with yourself. Just you and your thoughts all alone in the middle of nowhere. You know it probably won't get you far, but somehow you can't stop yourself.

We question what we have at stake when we do something. We wonder if people will ever see us the same again. We wonder if what we're doing is really what we want to do or if we just do it so the world will see us a certain way we think we want to be.

But there is one thing though...

The people who care don't matter and the people who

matter don't care.

The people who really have your back, they don't care how you are. They don't care what clothes you wear or how you look. They don't care if you're weird or not. They don't talk to you just because you look good that day or say nice things to you because they want something. lastly they really want whats best for you, even if sacrificing something to help you would hurt them.

Because I believe in intentions, and that's all that matters.

sometimes i don't look it but i can break. It's wear and tear.

2009-11-26T00:31:00.003+08:00

It's just us and science. :)

The exams are soooo overated. I say this because all the hype and pressure leading up to it is definitely not what they make it to be. Anyway, I am just glad that it is almost over.

Anyway, I am very happy to say that this is my first post on my Mac!! It's about time because my desktop has been like uber slow as of late. PLUS, now i get to use ichat and skype with a webcam!

The sad part though, is that I have no msn LIVE so my messenger is just a boring piece of work. Luckily though, someone very cool recommended i use Adium which happens to have more flexibility so I am still getting used to it. Therefore, please forgive Chia Su-Yen if she accidentally goes offline or signs out suddenly.

On a very bright note, Addmath was today and I am alive! Yeah, Big deal right? but for every question I answer, I am so hugely amazed. Yes, sometimes i expect to not be able to answer a single question. :(

I also watched MULAN tonight!! Thank God the Disney Channel is finally showing something worth watching. I used to be a huge disney channel fan but their shows are getting so crappy. Who cares about stupid talking magic gourds?!

MULAN made me smile the whole way. If you actually rewatch a Disney classic and observe the dialogue, you'll realise that it is actually very witty! and if you are even more observant, you will also notice the lyrics from the songs which are so darn funny and inspiring.

My absolute fav song would be this one...

I dont know why but I absolutely cracked up when at 1:44 they started singing "WE ARE MAN" in the background. I find it so hugely entertaining. loooooveee it.

It's soo inspiring it makes you want to grab life by the horns and wrestle it to the ground! Disney shows are lame blablabla, but it's played such a huge role in my childhood that sometimes even though you don't like it, you just watch it for the sake of remembering your childhood- the life of naps, playtime, homework and friends before problems, assignments, presentations, exams and people of the opposite sex.

But i guess we all gotta grow up some time right?

I like Macs! they make you look good. :)

Cause you make me crazy & I love you.

2009-11-13T21:24:00.000+08:00

3 Posts in a Row!

Correction, There are only TWO podiatrists in the whole of Malaysia! that's serious bank x 2.

honestly, I don't know what I'm doing giving you all updates on my foot on my blog, bare with me. x)

Today was my first physio session! What's physio like? It is painful because of all the stretching he made me do. here are the few things I've found out today..

The clicking and grinding noise coming from my toe is not in fact from my toe but from my right ankle.
Not being able to squat without tip-toeing is not normal.
All your toes should be able to to extend towards you by about 15-20 degrees. Mine is able to extend less than 5.
Balancing on one foot is actually really hard.

I have to say the worse exercise was the one where there was an inclined plane mounted on a wall. you're supposed to step on the slanted part facing the wall to give your calves a good stretch. I literally kept falling backwards! Very embarassing but luckily I seemed to be too busy laughing. I also did topple over attempting a squat. SIGH.

Anyways, here are some very cool toilet signs. :D

Peeping Tom!

p.s: you all really should be studying. =p

2009-11-11T19:57:00.005+08:00

More Trips to the Clinic.

Had the follow up check up for my foot with X-ray in hand.

it's goodbye to pretty heels and hello to orthopedics, sports shoes and clarks for me. =(

Oh, and did i mention I have to go for rehab and physio for my ankle now? And after that, if and when they manage to fix my ankle, they have to fix my knee which apparently bends inwards abnormally! =(

The world's not fair! my legs are already short compared to my torso. whhyy...? Whyy?
does thishave to happen to me and not to someone with fabulously long legs?

Okay, I shall stop complaining now.

Yup, the last two are Sole-less.

P.S: Did you know that there are only two podiatrists in the entire KL?! TWO. Think about it! wouldn't you be making serious bank if practically everyone in kl had bad feet defects and you were one of the two specialists who could help people with serious foot problems?

2009-11-10T18:32:00.000+08:00

Weak Ankles for Life.

So I finally got to get my feet checked out at this special clinic where they check feet! The doctor's called a podiatrist which is basically someone who studies feet and specialises in them. ( Yes! that includes flat foots, bow foots, and high arched feet).

It's kind of sad actually.. For those of you who are not so aware of my situation, I have sprained my ankles about 5 times or so in the past 2 or 3 years. Everytime netball season comes, I sprain my foot at least once. I can even sprain it while walking around in sports shoes. =/ it's become such a habit that my sprained ankles heal at the speed of lightning too to compensate for the amount of times i've sprained it.

Anywho, the secretary at the clinic was soo nice. she was actually bubbly and happy and she seemed to actually like her life! I mean come on, how many secretaries/nurses have you seen behind a desk who actually look like they like their job?? She was all polite and curteous while answering calls and even refered to me by my name! Who wouldn't want to come back to a happy clinic like that?!

So they made me walk on this treadmill without any shoes for a while while they videotaped it from the back. then the doctor called me in and asked me to walk back and forth to the door and back. Then he checked my feet and concluded that my arch was too high and that had contributed to all the times I sprained my ankle. I think he knew something was wrong when when he rotated my ankles he could hear and feel clicking noises. super scary cause i don't want to ever end up in a wheel chair ever! So the story is that when i walk, my feet collapse inwards a bit so as to cause my ankle to be weirdly angled.. Any sudden movements and my ankle goes crack! and I sprain my ankle again. rooaar.

What I'm really worried about now though (for vain reasons) is the shoes i cannot wear! Like how I'm incredibly sure my mum will insist I wear sports shoes as much as I can now. aagh. I practically live in my wedges because well, my calves are like huge. grr.

that very same day I got my first ever x-ray done! and i kept thinking about all the little sparks of radiation going through my body and killing at least a few hundred body cells. Science has never made me look at things the same way again. =(

Anyways, here is something that will cheer you up!

Soft toys humping each other. It's a movie poster, btw. :)

2009-11-04T00:27:00.000+08:00

Playback.

Warning: pessimistic ramble ahead!

Another one of those nights where I resolve to sleep early, like at 10 but somehow manage to find something to do till 12 even though I'm completely engulfed by tiredness and just can't find rest or peace on my mind. Yeah, you can bet this'll be one of those long thoughtful might/ might not make sense to you posts.

As I am writing this, it is officially 12.00am on a wednesday morning and I find myself on the edge of wanting something more.. Something so much more that i can't right now wrap my finger around it. It's as if there's this thing that keeps bugging me- it keeps telling me that there's something very important I need to do, see or even realise before it's too late. It clings to my ankles like shakles and I can't seem to shake the feeling off.

Maybe I'm reminicent about leaving highschool behind. Maybe I've just started getting a bit jumpy for the exams which I've convinced myself don't really matter. They don't for me anyway, that i can tell you. But somehow there is something in me that is oddly sadistic. A part of me that wants to see myself suffer and a part of me that just wants to feel like I'm going mad with stress. All this because I want to burry the guilt in me that seems to haunt me when I face something i don't want to face. It makes me feel better that I'm actually suffering for something I hate to do, rather than bumping and floating around in a carefree manner. It sickens me how I can be so dark but it's an addiction I can't seem to be able to shake off.

Really if i had my way, we'd all still be farmers and small-time fishermen in the medieval century. We'd grow up in the countryside knowing where our boring mundane life would end up- just like our parents who were born and bred for the positions they had now. We'd grow into ourselves, find the person of our dreams, get married, have babies and have a kick out of that simple life. Who'd care about the "what if's" in life when there weren't any if's.

So what if one day our world were to end in a big explosion (which would probably happen)? Would our constitutions, our deeds, our acts or contribution to society on Earth really matter at all? Imagine, everything we deem worthy and of the any importance completely destroyed within a blink of an eye. Languages, history, people, memories, monuments, documents and government secrets all gone, just like that.

Would those things which we once thought were so important actually matter then? Seems rather trivial isn't it? Especially when you compare it to the exam we'll have to be taking soon, which by the way, isn't even worldwidely recognised or respected. What are we doing with our lives?

I'm sorry to bother you with all these very pessimistic thoughts, but I'm afraid i'll have to part with them with sleep on my mind. Finally after ranting about how life sometimes feels completely pointless but still believing that it is in fact, worth living for the little things, I conclude that us human beings are a mixed up bunch. We think we know what we want. And when we do, we go all out to get it, only to realise that it isn't enough and that there'll always be something more out there. we'll keep up this facade of searching and searching until we find the one thing that will keep us content forever- that something that makes a supposedly worthless life just all the more worth living.

You've got to find that one thing before you die, if not you'll never go in peace.

I miss you.

2009-10-20T21:34:00.002+08:00

t's What We Go to School For...

As recommended by Zhuo...

=D what a way to make up for short stubby fingers eh?

and another...

I will Surviiiiiiiiiiivvee...

There was a heated discussion in 5C this morning at the far right hand corner in class which was occupied by Zhuo, JinWai, Lili, Wai and I. It was a typical physics lesson which usually meant lots of arguing about physics concepts and how they do not make sense.

Specimen 1:

Suggest a suitable type of shoe to be worn by a runner.

What type of question is this??

I don't know, how do you answer it?

Well, the question's about pressure isn't it?

Yeah, but it's type.

I know! Nike Airs, or maybe Adidas.

Err.. I think they mean type of shoe as in characteristics.

High surface area, lower pressure, lower impulsive force!

No lah, do you see people running around in McDonald shoes??

Nooo, but I don't see them running around in tiny shoes either. Seriously, would you squeeze your size 11 feet in a size 5 shoe?!?

But lower surface area higher pressure, larger impulsive force and more opposite reaction so your souls can bounce off the ground!

Why don't you just wear shoes your size?

Ohh..

Yeap, that was what we did the first thing in school. For some reason or rather, everyone seemed to be very happy and hyper. We all groan about how it's a waste of time at school but sometimes we just can't help ourselves...

Then, Wai, my sit-beside-buddy turned his wrist and I saw, "You are" written in purple ink. I couldn't resist and used my red pen to scribble on "...my fire". At this point he burst out laughing and turned back to show Lili who gasped and went, SUYEN YOU RUINED MY SONG!

haha, turns out that it was supposed to be a line from "Clocks" by Coldplay and i buthered it to fit a backstreetboy song!

After that we all burst out giggling again for a long time.

Ahh.. tis' good times in 5C. :) I'm going to miss it a lot.

toodles!

2009-10-18T17:21:00.001+08:00

For the Sleepy at Heart.

Ever open a book, make up your mind to study, read a few sentences, and find your eyelids betraying you by becoming instantly heavy with invisible weights which happen to instantly appear?

...

Fear not, I have a solution!!

and a very good one at that. :) TRUST ME, you are going to like it. Okay so..

Step 1: SWITCH ON COMPUTER (Okay, sounds good, no lame take deep breaths etc. advice)

Step 2: CLICK on Mozilla Firefox / Internet Explorer Option on desktop.

Step 3: TYPE http://apps.facebook.com/typing-maniac/

TADAAAA!

who said FB games were boring and a waste of time? & in case you decide to diss me and complain it doesn't work... You should give me the benefit of the doubt and try it out first.

I guarantee your sleepiness will go away for at least 15 minutes depending on your attention span! and when the magical effects of it start to fade away... you may repeat step 3 and get another go, while telling yourself that you are on a break. :)

caution: This blog post will not be held responsible for any addiction.

So I part with this little trick and remind the world that the the Sijil Pelajaran Malaysia is not the end of the world and we as wonderful Malaysians should focus on things that really matter in life, like washing your hands before you eat and practicing good manners.

Just Kiss Me Baby, And Tell Me Twice, That You're The One For Me, It's the Way You Make Me Feel. Trying to live without your love, Is one more stupid thing. I'd rather be with you, Say you want the same thing too. Lately I've been hoping you could stay with me, And i could hold you close till the end of time, Maybe someday we will grab some change and run away, but for now I'll learn to say goodbye.

Count down: limapuluhdua :(

2009-10-17T23:16:00.000+08:00

A Desperate Call for Help.

Because I...

NEED PHOTOSHOP!!!!

I am addicted to playing with the features and I've wanted one for like forever. But every time i get a photoshop from someone, the serial number's not there or the license has expired or it gives me some crappy lame-ass excuse as to why it DOES NOT OPEN!

So, this is an appeal to my readers, if you have photoshop in a cd complete with serial numbers and the etc, and you do happen to see me at school... Pleeaaaseeeee? =( I am on my knees and begging already.

Oh, and I also decided that I have become a very boring and inexpressive person. So, from this day hence forth, I decide that I am going to try to be less boring and more expressive.

And uhm...

I will think about something interesting and unboring next time, promise! :)

2009-10-12T12:19:00.000+08:00

Cloudy With a Little Blue.

I'd rather be with you.

Because sometimes we want to explain the way we feel and put it plainly into words. Sometimes we wish everything would be clear in just a second, or we'd know exactly what we have to do. If someone came up to you and convinced you that your life was going to go in a certain direction, depending on that direction, we'd either accept it or do everything in our power to change things.

But even having said that, There's only one direction it can possibly go in. No matter what you do, we are going to end up somewhere. That somewhere may or may not be in your life long plan. But hey, who are we to judge where our lives are supposed to go? Who are we to shape the circumstances and events that come into our lives. Are we so self-centered as to think life follows us wherever we go, and not the other way around? That's why they call it fate, or destiny or God's plan. All three concepts might differ slightly, but one thing's fore sure, it's the ultimate. The final decision and conclusion that we're going to have to live with for the rest of our lives.

So what are you doing with your life?

2009-10-01T23:12:00.001+08:00

ShoppingDay

So every once in a while, we're all entitled to give in to our girly pleasures- shopping!! I wasn't very optimistic to start the day out with, but quickly got over it because everything seemed to be screaming my name!

I guess the few weeks i spent slogging away at the exams did me well. I saved two entire weeks of allowance because i didn't eat in between the papers. I deserve a reward for my hard work!

Yun came over in the morn and we both realized we didn't have a camera. We spent the first hour of our morning doing homework. I kid you not. Lyssa joined us later at telawi and our shopping began!

I spent a grand total of... well, very little, really. :) and i even bought my prom dress!!! It's blue, short and has a V neck. haha, that's all i can probably say about it. Kind of ironic actually, I always imagined my prom dress to be long and flowy and elegant. I guess there's always a time to play out of character. ;)

& I cannot wait for tomorrow.

oh and...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LILI DARLING!!!!

Thanks for always being there for me. What would 5C be without you? (:

Love you guys. :)

p.s I have a small obsession with cardigans and jackets now!

2009-09-24T23:13:00.002+08:00

The Science between "Love".

I was randomly google searching and came across this very taboo topic. After delving into the few articles, I realised it was blog worthy and so, here it is. :)

My intro has been ripped off from here.

Why do we use the expression “falling in love” to describe a state in which a person experiences the joy and elation of erotic feelings for a sexual partner. In other words, if erotic passion truly provides a higher state of happiness, why shouldn’t we use the expression, “ascending in love”, e.g., or “thriving in love”, or something similar?

Popular expressions are not generally formed by chance. Words are living “things” carrying energy, and they accurately describe situations and states of being. Let us list some of the meanings of the verb “fall”:

To lose an upright position
To lessen in amount or degree
To decline in value
To undergo conquest or capture
To experience defeat

Are any of these states associated with “falling in love”? Most certainly they are! “Falling in love” has to do with capturing one’s heart and being captured by another; it has to do with conquest and captivation; it means “acquiring” someone, as if he/she were a property of sorts, and be acquired; it leads to decline of personality value, since those in love usually lose themselves in the process and cannot reason clearly or act wisely.

xxx

And so, this is for everyone who thinks he/she's been through it. It's normal! hallelujah. In fact, it's so normal, it's scientific. So for my very interesting entry today, I will quote and edit some info I ripped off websites to further explain this crazy feeling we hopefully will be lucky enough to experience one day.

I'm disorientated! i can't do anything properly or think straight.

When we fall in love, our brains experience an explosion of powerful chemicals. The neural profile that emerges has led some scientists to compare the initial stages of love to mental illnesses like obsessive compulsive disorder and mania, the manic phase of manic depression.

The science behind being blissfully happy?

Technology has revealed about falling in love is that it involves areas located deep within the brain, in a region which takes care of basic functions like eating and drinking. What is striking about these areas, known as the right caudate nucleus and the right ventral tegmental area, is that they are rich in cells that receive or produce dopamine, a chemical linked to reward, and associated with euphoria, craving and addiction.

Maybe we're not so different after all?

A study by Donatella Marazziti of the University of Pisa showed that...

In the initial stage of love, men and women become more alike. Love-struck men have less testosterone- a hormone linked to aggression and sex. Where as, love-struck women have more. Men, in some way, become more like women, and women become like men. It's as if nature wants to eliminate what can be different in men and women, because it's more important to survive at this stage.”

But How?

A 1999 study found that the brains of those who are in the early stages of love and those who suffer from OCD were equally low in the brain chemical serotonin. This is thought to be caused by powerful chemicals associated with romantic love, such as adrenaline and phenylethylamine (or PEA, also present in small amounts in chocolate). These chemicals cause euphoria, but also lower serotonin, and the result seems to be an increase in obsessive behaviour.

*****

Serotonin:

Levels of serotonin in the brain show association with aggression.

The role of serotonin in animals with a more complex nerve system is in perceptions of more complex life situations such as, for example, social rank. If a lobster is injected with serotonin, it behaves like a dominant animal.

*****

The effect of sex and cuddles on the brain is similar to that induced by opiates: levels of serotonin increase, as do levels of two other chemicals: oxytocin, the 'cuddle hormone', and vasopressin, both thought to be implicated in pair bonding. The theory is that monogamy depends on these chemicals, which make partners addicted to each other.

For example, Prairie voles are normally faithful animals, but this can be changed by tampering with the release of oxytocin and vasopressin in their brains. They can also be made to bond to a partner, without any sex taking place, if injected with the two. According to Larry Young, a researcher into social attachment, it is likely humans too become addicted to each other through a similar mechanism. And, once we are hooked, attachment kicks in, and with it feelings of calm, rather than obsession.

Did you know that...

romantic love is a drive and is stronger than lust, as people are more likely to commit suicide or homicide when rejected by someone they love than when their sexual overtures fail.

Quotable Quotes:

Describe sex in a sentence...

As described by a Roman Emperor and great Stoic philosopher Marcus Aurelius regarding sex.

“and as for sexual intercourse, it is the rubbing of a piece of intestine, then a convulsion, and the spurting of some mucus.”

What is being in love like?

Kyle (not his real name) an OCD patient describes it...

“Being with someone I love is almost like an antidote to the OCD, it makes me feel calm, reassured and safe. I don't care about contamination at all with a person I love – their touch doesn't taint and I learn to trust them to wash things for me. They're on my side, and can usually do no wrong. Being in love is a cocoon from the outside world. It's your own little microcosm of trust, where everything is under the control of people you trust. A little paradise refuge where you can be safe.”

xxxxx

Let's all hope that we all regard relationships as how Kyle describes it. ;) Props to KENG YEE for her awesome discovery of highlights! :D

On a totally unrelated note, I'm off to Singapore tomorrow so forgive me if I don't reply your text or calls!

I hope that was as enlightening to you as it was to me. See ya'll.

2009-09-22T18:28:00.002+08:00

Yesterday was a great day!

It seems I have lost the flow of blogging. The way I see it, there are two strategies to adopt when writing a post.

1) the friendly "I'll tell you about my day!" approach.
2) the "I'll tell you something very interesting and/but factual" approach.

Since the latter requires some brain power and a certain amount of thoughtfulness, I think I will give it a pass. Because I simply can't think of anything interesting to blog about except the one thing that doesn't really concern everyone else but is still stuck somewhere in my head like... A piece of rotten fruit. Though I don't know why I used that analogy...

Holidays have been very drab. But i can't complain. I kinda like the feeling of not having to do anything at all. :D It's a very nice change. On the bright side, my cousin has been very kind to lend me season 1 and 2 of One Tree Hill!!

I refused to take the other seasons cause I actually want to try to do something useful and productive during the holidays. My brain will NOT turn to dust!

It's like you've torn a part of me out & I can't get it back. But somehow, I really like it. This is for you, Jude.

It Won't!!

2009-09-19T11:52:00.002+08:00

Hurray! Trials are over

But i guess most of you have already experienced this sharp relief. :)

I realized i haven't blogged in ages. it even feels weird typing what I'm thinking. I can finally sit down and finish my book. And i just have to say that World Without End is one of the best books I've ever read. It is completely awesome and never ever boring. The plot is so exciting I can never sleep right before reading it. I am sooo gonna get my hands on the first book! Kinda sad i couldn't gind the first book first but oh well..

A book is like chocolate. you can look forward to it and crave it but not getting the right one can be very dissatisfying. if you're looking for dark chocolate but can only find white, no matter how exquisite the white one may be, you'll still find yourself disappointed and craving the dark. After you've eaten a whole bunch of chocolate, you won't feel the novelty any more. That's when only the best and unforgettable books get etched in your memory. You know when doing something always reminds you of that particular book you've read.

You'll feel like you're in your own little world and somehow the book you read changes your perspective on certain things. If thought and reasoning was a straight beam of light, books would be the side mirrors and lenses that bend and shape your final outlook.

Anyways, I've got to go out for lunch so I shall blog later. :) I just thought i needed to say all the above. Hardeehaarr.

yennie's back from zombie-mode. Woooooooooooohoooo!

2009-08-27T20:45:00.003+08:00

I am so laid back for trials it's not funny.

It's true. and there's really nothing i can do about it. I have simply no drive.

Moral and BK are on the same day!! So to this I kiss my pendidikan moral a very goodbye and wish it all the best in the underworld. i hope i never see you again and you never show your ugly black head up here again. :)

Click for the time table!

2009-08-18T22:20:00.004+08:00

Su-Yen Says ROAR!!

i know I've been on hiatus for yonks but my homework filled life doesn't seem to permit me to blog. =(

This morning before my driving test, I felt like shit. Even shittier than usual i might add, because my driving instructor had to tell me that people hardly pass their road without the big B word.
I was prepared to fail and while moping around my kitchen i picked up the newspapers.

I turned to the comic section and what did i see?

Sigh, this afternoon was one of the times when life seemed to be parading in front of my face flashing it's bright red underwear right at me and taunting me. Life is Ironic, yes.

BUT, before you start agreeing with me, life also has a sense of humour.

...

and that is why I PASSED!!!!!!!!

HALLELUJAH! This is despite my engine dying twice at the traffic lights. I couldn't stop muttering and mumbling to myself in the car during the parking and hill modules. I had to shut myself up because I forgot the windows were wound down and people were giving me weird looks.

I also made it a point to put on my "I'm going to die if i don't pass - my life is shit - leave me alone I am depressed" face while waiting because the driving place scares the pants off of me. I mean seriously, the people there are uber gangster looking, not to mention my bad experience at the 6 hour lecture where all the lecturer did was flirt with the malay girl in front. ish.

But yes, THANK YOU GOD. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU.

Some random pictures. :)

What we do in the morning at class 5C (JonY and Zwei still doing important prefects stuff)

Waiwai!!

Retarded picture but oh well.

AND OUR INTERACT FAREWELL!!

It was really so sweet of all our form 4 Interactors. I was so touched at all the effort they put in. So to all the form 4's, I know you'll do great next year, MAKE US PROUD!!

P.S: My new favorite word is roar. =)

So ends another rare but eventfull post. See ya'll!

Because every time you talk to me i can't help but smile like an idiot. Every time you stop i act like i don't care. And for all of those times I go through the roller coaster ride; and though the ride goes around in circles and I throw up, I never want to get off.

2009-08-04T22:29:00.002+08:00

It's funny how life takes you in one direction and that

immediately jerks you back the other way.

One moment you feel like flying and the next you're in the dirt again, wondering why you have to go through what you go through and for what sake you go through it for. College applications are one thing and well, your own selfish agendas (need not be bad) are another.

If you think I'm trying to arrive at a point right here, you're wrong. Of course we all write things with hidden and metaphorical meanings, but what if you just let the thought sit and stir in your brain a bit? maybe some things don't mean to mean anything unless the time really propels you to think something of it.

back to the point I am trying not to prove. We only have one life and while most of us like spending it impressing other people, maybe we've overlooked the real goal in life - to be happy and satisfied with our time here. We do everything we do either because we're truly passionate about it, we HAVE to do it, it is a stepping stone to something greater, or we just want to prove to the world we are capable of doing something.

Maybe the capable of doing something part has something to do with confidence, in which I conclude is a worthy enough cause, but not enough to kill yourself over.

For instance, I absolutely cannot stand numbers.

But why do I put myself through it?

a) I was too stupid to drop addmaths even though i could have in the beginning
b) I want to prove to everyone I can handle it.
c) Because I want to see for myself what exactly makes it so scary for other people.

See, even for a decision I absolutely cannot understand i made, i still see so many reasons why i shouldn't have dropped it, and that's enough for me. I hate numbers but hey, some things you got to go through with because you have to. It makes you a better person, blablablablabla.

And as for me, I can't wait to move on with my life. School's somehow become a place where learning is a process and all the formalities we go through seem even more pointless than maths. Sure, you could call everything you go through which you see no point in and tough character building, but you got to draw the line somewhere.

So goes life. ;)

For now. :DDD

2009-07-18T13:24:00.002+08:00

My parents left to Bangkok. Just when i thought I couldn't get any lonelier. .__.

I've been spending my time replaying and replaying Hey Jude. I swear it's going to knock Lucky off my playlist SOON. Somehow I never get sick of it.

I've also been addicted to Ballads. I love it that there's so much more to a song than just a pretty tune. Ballads mirror how real people feel. The tune being happy and catchy but the lyrics plunging into the hard reality of life. It's like how sometimes we put on a happy face to fool the people around us who don't really care, but deep down inside we hurt and feel alone.

One of the saddest ballads I've ever heard. Don't be fooled by the music.

There are happy ones too. :)

Excuse the Beatles craze.

& of course,

Have a nice day. (:

2009-07-17T23:23:00.003+08:00

Watched Transformers 2 today!

( I know, very behind good movies but oh well. )

I want to curl up with a good book. =(
I want to trust and not be let down. I want to hope and be optimistic. I want to care and not feel judged. I want to be myself and not be picked on.I want to love the world. if only it'll just let me. I want to feel and not have to regret. I want to love and be loved in return, because I'm still holding on to the edge. I don't know how else to say any of this.
I guess we all want a lot of things.
I'm sorry.
night, world.

2009-07-15T19:21:00.002+08:00

Go away.

It's times like these you realize who your real friends are. The ones who actually talk to you because they think you're a great person and not just cause' they have ulterior motives. My whole life I've been a people pleaser and that has been my mistake.I tell people so many times to not feel bad and not feel sorry for themselves. I tell them to get up and move on, to ignore the things happening around them and put on a smile. It always seems so easy, so simple. Like knowing exactly what to do but not being able to do it myself.

In a world where everything is disguised and where we all think that we are always right, it's no wonder we all have pride, ego and self-righteousness. I try and i try, I remind myself everyday that I shouldn't be like that. I should walk the talk and try to stay on the narrow path. I put faith in situations when i know I'll be let down. I trust people I know I shouldn't. I hurt easily though it doesn't seem like it. I hate being tossed around and discarded when and as you like, like I'm a flame you can direct back and forth, light and relight.

I'm sorry if you all feel that way, but I want to. And if you think you are above everything, please go get a life and don't bother even talking to me in the first place. Don't judge me and make assumptions about my life and how I feel when you don't know a single thing about me to begin with.

Stop being high and mighty and above yourselves and tell me what i should or should not be doing. There is nothing wrong with the person and I respect him for being the person he is. He doesn't pretend to be someone he's not and he's no pushover even though you think you can push him around. Maybe you should try it some time.

& despite what you may think, I am NOT trying to prove a point. I am NOT being all noble and charitable. I am NOT that nice and so you should get off my case and accept it.

Maybe it's time we all think about ourselves and pull ourselves back down to Earth. Then maybe we'd realize what monsters we've really become- how nowadays we find joy in belittling someone and self proclaiming ourselves better than everyone else.

And as for some of you around me, stop pretending you know me. Stop pretending you like me. Stop assuming you know what goes on in my mind and pretending you know what i'm talking about. If you really wanted to get to know me, you'd put some genuine effort into it. & if you have already been trying; you should know i can smell a rat a mile away.

2009-07-13T12:06:00.003+08:00

I AM SO HAPPY TO BE EATING AGAIN!!

Note: shall blog about the 30-hour famine in the near future.

For the very first time, I think I'm actually scared of parent-teachers.

It's not really my fault Physics is so boring and that i simply tune off whenever he talks about electricity related chapters and anything else for that matter.

and it's really nothing to do with me when in addmaths I just don't understand anything because I've missed so many lessons (not that I'm complaining).

and lastly, it's really out of my control when in english all we do is grammar and lit where by we are spoon fed like little kids (again, not complaining) AND all your closest friends are within a 2 metre radius.

Hmmm.

So goes school. :)

2009-07-08T23:22:00.003+08:00

SCIENCE AND MATHS BACK BAHASA.

disclaimer: Apologies if the contents below seem harsh. No, I'm not racist and i understand that I am generalizing a lot. I know there are lots of smart and intelligent people out there who might share my views or similar ones for that matter.

okay first of all, whatever respect or little optimism i once had for our retarded government and politicians have now been all washed down the drain.

We all thought the polls and the debate between the two languages were just for show, but apparently the point goes to Bahasa which is now the language maths and science will be taught in.

LIKE HELLO???!!!!! aren't we all missing something here??

HOW MANY FREAKING ENCYCLOPEDIA'S CAN YOU FIND IN THAT LANGUAGE??

HOW MANY FREAKING COUNTRIES USE BAHASA TO COMMUNICATE???

HOW MANY WORDS IN BAHASA ARE ACTUALLY ENGLISH WORDS ALTERED BY MEANS OF A FEW MORE SYLLABLES AND COMPLICATED SPELLING??

who freaking cares??? the government is screwing up their own future. I hope BN chokes and dies because they are shooting themselves in the foot. One can't expect change after like what? 5 years of so of switching to english. When originally everything used to be English before Dr. M very stupidly and mistakenly taught of switching it to Bahasa. It's fixing something that's not broken all for the sake of politics.

Seriously they can all die and rot.

from: http://www.forbes.com/feeds/afx/2009/07/08/afx6629558.html

KUALA LUMPUR, Malaysia -- Malaysia announced Wednesday it will abandon the use of English to teach math and science, bowing to protesters who demanded more use of the national Malay language.

Malay will be reinstated in state-funded schools starting in 2012 because teaching in English caused academic results in those subjects to slip, Education Minister Muhyiddin Yassin said.

The news comes after months of high-profile demonstrations by politicians and linguists, especially from the ethnic Malay majority, who say a six-year-old policy of using English undermines their struggle to modernize their mother tongue.

I understand that they want to achieve unity among the people by making a language uniform. But you also have to think about practicality and face the fact that Bahasa is not globally recognized. you don't want to keep spoon-feeding the lazy people and giving them opportunities they're too lazy to work themselves. Don't get me wrong, nothing wrong with bahasa except for it's lack of recognision in the world. malaysia's a tiny spec on the globe, and i dare say bahasa is NOT EVEN CLOSE to competing with any of the most used langauges in the world. in fact, so many words in bahasa are BORROWED from english by simply switching a few vowels and consonants around. At least have your own language and don't be a copy-cat.

On top of that, are they that damn stupid to not realize that it takes at least a good 10 years or more for the teaching of subjects in English to improve? What has to happen is that the generation learning everything in English now has got to have the time to grow up and pursue a carreer in education. Then wouldn't they automatically have a better grasp of the language itself? Should they not look at things in the long run and not be so stubborn about their pride?

We get you, the British exploited you a good 52 years ago. you suffered. you faught. you sacrificed. Booohoo. GET OVER IT. But now, you're still equally spoilt rotten and spoon-fed till your fat and refuse to get off you high horse.

I have nothing to say.

This is why politics is a waste of time.

*Edit* i will try to recollect and regroup my thoughts better another day. I'm just too worked up to care about making sense.

2009-06-29T19:46:00.000+08:00

I never thought I'd see the day when I get sick of colours.

Currently scouting for a new blogskin because my current one is too colourful and happy. I know there's always tomorrow but the world doesn't always have to be so colourful all the time, no?

And its so hard finding a skin. They're either too tiny, too black, or to loud. Why can't they have soothing skins which don't give people a head ache to look at? And this is when i start wishing i could understand html and had photoshop. x)

Is it so wrong to trust in people, even though you know that they're stepping all over you? is it wrong to know that it's happening but you just don't want to do anything about it? It might not seem like alot, but it all adds up.

Sometimes i just want to scream and pull my hair out. And when everyone looks at me waiting for an explanation, I just want to die because I can't find the words that explain what I'm feeling. I just can't and it bothers me. So what bothers me? I DON'T KNOW.

I want to run away.

2009-06-28T08:56:00.001+08:00

Bad days.

I woke up at 7.30 for no reason. Gosh, you would think the parents would tell you when they decide not to go for 8.30 service. -.- Now my afternoon in more or less gone because the 11.00 one tends to drag and there are more people. ANND I am behind 2 hours of sleep. Greaaat.

This year's been moving too slowly for my liking. way to mammothly slow. So freaking slow that sometimes i wish i could have a remote control that could fast forward me into the future. What ever happened to getting on with life and doing something we love doing?

The documentary on Friday was also shit depressing. When i thought I couldn't feel worse about global warming, someone had to tell me that there's a premonition that the world would end in the year 2012. GREAT. I'm going to die at twenty and have wasted most of my life studying for a freaking exam that does not help with shit!

last night was not a very productive night. I thought it felt productive but when you sit around and do nothing for a while, that productive mood seems to just disintegrate in thin air while you sluggishly lie there in the couch in front of your tv.

So no, I have not touched any work this week, i absolutely hate hate hate addmaths (can't wait to never see stupid numbers again) and i didn't get to finish my book!

annoyed annoyed annoyed.

Most of all i am just annoyed at the fact that my parents didn't tell me they're not going for service!! GARH. and now im wasting time ranting about things which probably no one in the world cares for.

great. JUST great.

2009-06-10T20:14:00.000+08:00

HAPPY SEVENTEENTH HANNAH!!!!

It was an awesome 17th Birthday bash in the city. Hannah booked one of the rooms at a service apartment in the city. It was so comfortable. A comfy lounge and a kitchen with two rooms to run around and go crazy. ;)

I met up with Hannah and Brian at the hotel so I could dump my big bag of stuff. Then Brian drove us to klcc where we met up with the others to watch 17 Again.

ZAC EFFRON IS SEXY!!
(Almost as sexy as Robin. Like duh. xD)

ANYWAY, definitely a must watch. The movie was actually so-so, but the boy made the movie worth watching.

Then Trish, Fiona, Eli, Sandra, Hannah and I walked back to the hotel. It rained so we couldn't swim. We blasted Britney Spears and got ready to go for dinner.

Hannah's party theme was Little Black Dress with a splash of colour. The twist was that all of us were given a colour we'd never or hardly used. And your's truly got pink!! Which was by far the worst colour to give me cause I have absolutely every colour accessory except pink.

Anyways, I will do my tags tonight when I feel less like a big fat lazy sloth. The parents are having people over again, So i guess i will give up on all hope on a healthy diet during the holidays. Sigh, another resolution completely blown into little powdery pieces.

And on top of that, I also FINALLY got around to baking some cookies. They're awesome cause they're low fat (seriously, like 1/4 cups of butter) but then again, eating like 5 or 6 cookies probably won't count as good calorie control.

And yay! another achievement today. I drove all the way to Taman Melawati and back. muahahaa. Even though i got honked at a couple of times, I'd say it's a pretty good start for my second lesson. =D

So watch out drivers of the world! Su-Yen's coming.

Be afraid..

Be VERY afraid.....

2009-06-04T21:24:00.001+08:00

So here's to clear the air about the age old question...

WHY CHOCOLATE COATED BATTERY!?!?!

The question has probably haunted some of you deep thinkers out there. And fear not, because if you haven't thought of this question, I'm not implying you are any less deep than you probably are. ;D it's actually a pretty funny story actually...

(grandma story coming up. beware. )

So my blog's about say, 2 or 3 years old? Anyway, what you all probably didn't know was that 2 or 3 years ago, I was battlling acne. The gigantic disgusting spots of my face would not go away! At this time, i was also thinking of starting a blog, after many whispers in the assembly line about how cool blogspot is and etc.

After much depression about my acne problem, i decided to go see a dermatologist (for pills). And while waiting on the not so comfy black chairs in the waiting room, i picked up a few magazines. It so happened to be CLEO's bachelor issue or something like that. And all the preppy bachelors were being interviewed.

'So, Jason Chan, what is life to you?'

'I think life's like a sugar coated battery. It's bitter and sweet at the same time and you learn to love it that way.'

At that point i looked up, swerved the idea in my head for a few seconds and then made a connection...

My blog should be about life.
Life is bitter sweet.
Bitter sweet like a...

chocolate coated battery.

So, HURRAAHH!! my blog was born. :DD

2009-06-02T23:39:00.000+08:00

I've been craving cookies!

Like really really craving. Craving sweets so much that i just HAD to go downstairs to have a peanut butter and jam sandwich.

Cookies are such awesome things, packed with butter and sugar, but nonetheless, pretty AWESOME.

Oh, speaking of that, holiday's are also truly AWESOME.

you manage to do so many things you always want to do but have no time for...

like I watched Sound of Music yesterday. It brings back so many old memories. And watching it again makes me realize how much i didn't understand the first few times i watched it. you don't notice the captain and maria falling in love nearly half as well as if you watch it now!

They even had a reunion for the cast 20 years later!

and then today I watched Pearl Harbor. Kate Beckinsale is too pretty for her own good.

night everyone. :)

2009-05-22T22:50:00.000+08:00

Yes, I know.

Yes i know my blogs is almost dead.

But you can't blame me that my life is so insignificantly boring now; almost like i live in a little bubble and have completely dissociated myself with everything.

I feel bad too. How do you say something without having to sound like you mean something else? i think I've been neglecting my friends lately with my moods... I'm sorry.

And exams are killer. I mean really. I just found out i have limited time to finish everything, including my grade8. Yeah, and trials are around that time too!

Moral sucked. that's what you get when you don't memorise nilai's. Sigh.

Oh, & Jo completely summarized how I've been feeling about them exams so far...

QUOTE!

me screaming and lashing all my frustration on how i made silly careless mistakes in almost every single paper i've taken and that maybe i should have studied more than i did because the papers are actually quite easy but i just didn't have enough brain skills to be able to answer them all.

SIGGH. It's now 10:51 and I shall go get something to eat.

Blog on Hiatus. Shall blog more starting next week. :)

ps: See, i didn't even bother colouring my fonts. =((

2009-05-09T22:21:00.000+08:00

In times of deep thinking... (Or not so)

Youtube always has something for you.

You know me, I don't usually post music videos, but I'll make an exception cause this song's been stuck in my head for the past week. Imagine Having Thinking of you stuck in your head during chemistry, BM and maths.

So, the conclusion...

I like this song! :D But I do wonder when I'm gonna get sick of it after overplaying it so much.

1:27- 2:08

On one of those days when it was stuck in my head and i was singing it in class, I struggled to find a word that described how she sang it.

Then WH next to me said something absolutely ground breaking!

'She sounds horny'

HAHAHA. And that did it for me. (: She does sound horny. Oh, and passionate.
I like it, and the guy has sexy eyes.

Oh, and while searching for that video, I came across another one.

And the seventh thing I hate the most about you...

You make cardboard look cute.

For all you Miley Cyrus fans out there. ;)

Night Ya'll!

You know, someone should shoot me now.

2009-04-14T22:49:00.001+08:00

I am very worried about the relay and it's not funny.

I'll try my best, you know I will. But I'm damn shit scared. I seriously am. I don't want to let people down. I'm afraid of the expectations. I know I don't really have the physical condition to do well. So I'm sorry. But I've really tried. And that day, I promise I'll give it every last bit of strength I have.

And I have faith in our gymrama. We've worked so hard for it, and I have faith in it. It's so hard to be positive about something all the time, but you know you just have to believe in it. So i hope my kids do well. cause the first thing they have to realize is that it's all in the mind, and nothing else.

I like all my kids! But they have to believe in themselves. :) And even if we don't win, that's fine. cause all the other houses are good. Very good.

And I shall leave it at that.
hahaa, ChengYee says she learns from my blog. YAY! my blog has a purpose!
bwahahaha. :D

I CANNOT WAIT FOR SPORTS TO BE OVER.

Why do we worry about such remedial things like sports day?! WHYY??? Why put ourselves through all the pressure and andraneline and scary stress and worry?! WHYYY. So unecessary.

SIGH.

2009-04-10T20:22:00.001+08:00

Hey Ho, What'd you know? :)

You know what? I don't really know what my blog is for.

It's like there are so many types of blogs out there now. From thoughtful ones to emo ones to entertaining ones to factual ones. I was just thinking. Where does that leave mine?

nah, don't worry, I feel no need to be classified under any of those categories. But still, it's very intriguing to think about. Where our thoughts come from are such a mystery. Have you ever wondered which type of chromosome or cerebral fluid or chemical reaction makes us think the way we think? Is it by complete chance we think the way we do or does our brain fluid just happen to produce emotions and thoughts which are beyond comprehension sometimes?

Hmmm...

I think i have been doing a lot of light thinking lately. Light as in purposeless thinking. Not worrying, thinking.

One day, I am going to find someone who will ponder upon these mindless thought with me and help put it into perspective with me. :) I will!

So anyway, here is a long quote from a book I've been reading. It's just too freaking hilarious and witty to be left unrecognized. :D

Another thing that got forgotten was the fact that against all probability a sperm whale had suddenly been called into existence several miles above the surface of an alien planet.
And since this is not a naturally tenable position for a whale, this poor innocent creature had very little time to come to terms with not being a whale any more.
This is a complete record of its thought from the moment it began its life till the moment it ended.
Ah. . .! What's happening? it thought.
Er excuse me, who am I?
Hello?
Why am I here? What's my purpose in life?
What do I mean by who am I?
Calm down, get a grip now . . . oh! this is an interesting sensation what is it? It's sort of . . . yawning, tingling sensation in my . . . my . . . well i suppose I'd better start finding names for things if i want to make any headway in what for the sake of what i shall call an argument i shall call the world, so let's call it my stomach.
Good. Oooh, it's getting quite strong. And hey, what about this whistling roaring sound going past what I'm suddenly going to call my head? Perhaps i can call that . . . wind! Is that a good name?It'll do . . . perhaps I can find a better name for it later when I've found out what it's for. It must be something very important because there certainly seems to be a hell of a lot of it. Hey! What's this thing? This . . . let's call it a tail - yeah, tail. Hey! I can really thrash it about pretty good can't I? Wow! wow! That feels great! Doesn't seem to achieve very much but I'll probably find out what it's for later on. Now - have I built up any coherent picture of thigns yet?
No.
Never mind, hey, this is really exciting, so much to find out about, so much to look forward to, I'm qiote dozzy with anticipation. . .
Or is it the wind?
There really is a lot of that now isn't there?
And wow! Hey! Waht's this thing suddenly coming towards me very fast? Very very fast. So big and flat and round, it needs a big wide sounding name like . . . ow . . . ound . . . round . . . ground! That's it! That's a good name - ground!
I wonder if it will be friends with me?

And the rest, after a sudden wet thud, was silence.

Whale.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

if you didn't get that i wouldn't blame you. Cause seriously it feels like the quthor very cleverly wrote a bunch of random things and decided to string them all into one story.

it's like being intelligently lame!

Awesome awesome. :D

2009-04-03T22:23:00.001+08:00

Spare me a Minute

Have you ever wondered why we bother writing down our thoughts and daily happenings in our lives on this little peace of blank white space?

Or have you ever wondered why people suffer and track through mud and go through so much just to be happy?

What if happiness was a state of mind? then wouldn't going through all that pain not be worth the end result? Why can't we all just be happy to begin with and not have hard times remind us that we actually are?

Why do we do this to ourselves? Knowing the outcome might or might not be good?

& have you ever felt so confined in a small corner that you know you're bursting to come out but just can't do it? That for the life of you, you're just trapped and nothing you do seems to be working?

Or have you ever had immense blind faith in something that when people tell you it's good to question it to reassure yourself, you just don't do it because well- you CHOOSE to have immense blind faith in something and reasoning with that wouldn't be immense blind faith anymore.

What if in the world, there were no rights and wrongs? And the only answer to all the questions were to just accept BOTH the "rights" and "wrongs"? To understand that both are keeping the delicate balance in a situation with us pushing against it making it unstable?

Have you ever felt like you don't know why you are emotionally attached to a person even though you have absolutely no reason to be?

Or maybe felt like everything in your life is mediocre and that everything you feel is completely surreal and that maybe you might just be making all of it up by yourself with the hope of self pity.

have you ever wondered why we even bother since one day, the world we live in will be reduced to absolutely nothing. All the architecture, history, art, philosophy on earth will one day be completely destroyed in just a blink of the eye? What makes us so sure we'll last forever?

Has it ever occurred to you that at this very second, someone somewhere in the world might be thinking the EXACT same thing as you?

And have you wondered if anyone will one day understand exactly what you're going through and if you'd ever get to meet this person someday, have coffee and chat. What are the odds of you MEETING that person and that person speaking the language you're speaking right now?

What are the odds of that huh? (;

Yeah.

I'm tired, i know.

love. <3

2009-03-18T21:26:00.000+08:00

It's so hard!

You know, I really hate it when all I can think about is work. Every single second of every single day is about what I haven't done and have to finish.

and because of that, I am making a resolution now to FINISH MY IU SCRIPT!!

because it's taken me so long to pour over it and think about it.

& also because I'm having another of my writing blocks again where I cannot construct proper sentences without grammatical mistakes.

GARRRRRH

So yeah, it will be done. IT WILL!!

2009-03-14T23:12:00.001+08:00

I'm a Health Freak but this is for all my Bacon Lovers Out There!

Cough* Jo. =P

Okay fine, Admittedly, I'm not a big fan of bacon. But for all you Bacon enthusiasts out there who haven't heard of it...

It's the bacon Explosion!!

2lbs of bacon
+
2lbs of Sausage
=
500grams of fat plus a heart attack! But still looks good anyway. :D

They even have a facebook group for it! and many many fans sites:

Who would've though bacon was such a phenomenon worldwide?!

for the real recipe:

http://www.bbqaddicts.com/blog/recipes/bacon-explosion/

Okay now I'm hungry. xDD

2009-03-13T22:35:00.000+08:00

She's back!

yeah i know, it's been really long, But when you need a break, you just got to take a break.

FIRST TERM IS OVER! and don't ask. It didn't go very well.
and to tell you how much i slacked, I made my new banner entirely on the time i spent procrastinating studying.

tsk tsk. As I recall, my late banner was also done on the expense of my procrastination too. ;) so maybe it isn't such a bad thing afterall. :p

My life is back on track again, Im proud and happy to say. But on the way here, I seriously owe my body some serious sleep debt. I mean really. sleeping at 12 and waking up at 4 to study can't be good.

it's what i do to calm my nerves I'm afraid.

Today was a good day. Firstly, it absolutely RAINED the whole morning from 6 something onwards till 11 when it stopped. There was early dismissal so i seized this rare opportunity to visit a shopping mall!! yayayayay! i love rain.

I can't tell you how long I've not stepped into a mall. The last time probably being last year or something. But it was awesome. Dim Sum with Yun, Eli, Hannah, Lili. Andrew joined us afterwards and didn't complain about all the little shopping the girls did. haha, what a sport!

My brain is fried and I can no longer string proper sentences together.

aklfa sdkfjdna aodfkaddfhida o isdafisadfnklsdvaoji;.....

Seee....

Will blog tomorrow! good bye! :DD

SU-YEN IS BACK IN THE BLOGOSPHERE.

2009-02-07T12:52:00.000+08:00

Just Because,

note: not directed to any individual.

Don’t judge me, because I’m only human. I make mistakes. I have weaknesses. I have insecurities. It’s only fair that you give me some room to make my mistakes, to see myself. What you think shouldn’t bother me, but it does. What makes you so sure I am who you think I am? If that’s the case, then I know I’ll inevitably spend a lot of time living up to your expectations.

It’s not like this is new either. It’s always something that has haunted me. All the time, when you don’t think it affects me, it does. I’ve given up opportunities, passed down chances, gave up on circumstances, just because I listen to the better judgment of people around me. I’m just so sick of it right now, and I hate to say that people who are my friends who love me just drive me a little crazy. Maybe they know best, maybe they don’t?

I live by the principal that no one wants intentionally harms anybody. And though I know this principal is unpredictable, I can’t help it. It’s what I put my faith in. the common good intention that resides in every individual out there. The belief that they’ve been judged by their surroundings and so they are just conforming to what they hear all the time. I want them to know that someone does think they are great people inside. And I’m an idiot for letting anyone convince me otherwise.

I’m sick of taking the side line all the time. It feels like no one’s there to listen when I need to say something, because that’s just not the way things work around the world. It’s not what I look like. It’s just not me.

But hey, what if that person who is essentially me is just waiting to be discovered? What gives you the right to tell me that I am being naïve and gullible and just too nice? And if I am, why can’t you just let me make my own mistakes? I’ve come to the point that I’m not angry at myself or anyone anymore. I’m just completely desperate.

If only you could see the state my mind is right now. if only you could understand. If only you could just take the time to see that I need you. it hurts to feel that i can't admit some things to you because i feel judged and weighed all the time. As if I'm supposed to know better. I hate feeling sorry for myself and I won't allow myself that. But it's as if I can't see perspective right now - something I've always been good at seeing.

I don’t know why I don’t let myself make my own mistakes. I’m always either too self righteous, ignorant or in denial to ever let myself do something like that. I might be doing the right thing so far, but I can’t tell just yet. How do we know we’re doing the right thing if we’ve never felt the wrong?

So I’m sorry everyone. To everyone I’ve mislead and let down. To everyone who’s shocked at whatever I did, am doing or am about to do in the future. I’m sorry in advance and please don’t take it the wrong way. I’m human and mistakes are inevitable. Having said all these things, I’m not sure myself if I’m ever going to change. It’s a battle within myself I have to struggle to survive sometimes. Some days I don’t know if I’ll come out alright or not.

I wish you all knew.

2009-01-25T20:18:00.000+08:00

ALIVEEEEE!!

Hello half abandoned blog! I am sorry I've left you alone for so long. I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. And I just haven't found it in me to tell you about my life - Even though it consistently lacks action and juicy gossip.

But anywho, school has been busy like anything and I've been running around like a crazy person, Finding myself rushing to finish my homework at 12am and waking up extra early to pack my bags etc.

But hey, what's a girl to do? The resolution I have made about actually completing my homework properly has kept a tight leish on my schedule. even though i might complain about being busy, there is this sick twisted part of me deep down inside whom actually likes it. I'd rather have more things to do than less, Frankly speaking.

Chinese New Year's tomorrow, and well. It's just coming. You know you're growing old when christmas and chinese new year stop exciting you and you treat it like any regular day but with more food and peple around. ho hummm.

Anyway, NEW NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION EVERYONE!!!

I want to be able to tie a cherry stalk in a knot in my mouth by the end of this year! :D

And for now, wikiHow shall be my guide.

Warnings

Be careful not to choke on your cherry stem or pit.
Do not let children under the age of 7 do this. Because of choking hazard!

HAHAHAHAA

Random I know, But I've just decided. (;
I will be an expert cherry stalk knotter.

Just watch!

2009-01-04T11:04:00.002+08:00

Two thousand and nine

I am looking forward to school.I am looking forward to school. I am looking forward to school. I am looking forward to school.I am looking forward to school. I am looking forward to school. I am looking forward to school.I am looking forward to school. I am looking forward to school. I am looking forward to school.I am looking forward to school. I am looking forward to school.

Oh yes I am!
~~I'm trying to convince myself anyways.~~

Just one more year, no?

Anyways, since I haven't been blogging, I shall tell you what I did during the holidays.

I MISSED A FREAKING FREE LAPTOP!!!!!!!! XDD
*smacks own head with book repeatedly* ._.
p.s: Don't ask. very depressing.

Suyen's New Year Resolutions (2009)

Stick to new year's resolutions
stop biting nails. :(
Do homework properly. Be consistent!
pay attention in class and not get distracted. Sleep earlier.
let go and just go for it.
Read more

The rest I dare not write here because of new year's resolution #1. I'll let you know at the end of the year If I've achieved them though.

Speechless,
over the edge and just breathless,
I'd never thought that I'd catch this,
love bug again.

P.s: I like lovebug and there's nothin you can do about it! haaaaaahh

Merry Christmas Everyone!

2008-12-25T23:19:00.000+08:00

I know!

SHOCK!!

HORROR!!

GAAASSSPP!!

She's blogging! hahaha. Not sure if I'm completely back, but yes.

But of course, I wouldn't be the first to wish you. i bet all of you snuggled up with your friends and family and stuffed yourself with yummy Christmas food or spend the night partying away counting down and opening pressies. ;D

For the least, Christmas hasn't really felt very Christmassy this year. It doesn't feel as christmassy as it's usually supposed to feel.

So, to get myself in the mood, I am currently blasting Relient K's christmas Album on my iTunes. DEFINITELY a must have for the holiday season. But then again, it isn't really working cause I listen to the album all year round. hence, the christmas carols in class (as some of you 4C's might have realized. ;))

Anyway, I am a lucky duck!!! Because I got a new cam!! ;DD Yay! I'd so post a picture, but I can't exactly take a picture of my camera with my camera. Yeahh. Instead, pictures will have to suffice as proof.

ANNNDD, hopefully this will be a new inspiration to my blog. And i will not bore you with so many word posts. ugghh.

but right now, The pictures can't be uploaded on blogger. oh well. Till i figure it out.

2008-12-13T22:48:00.001+08:00

Until I get my mind sorted out, I am not going to blog. (:

give me a few days or weeks. x)

2008-12-11T19:04:00.000+08:00

I'm Back!!

And I have so much to say. But for now, all i can sum up is...

I MISS ENGLISH SPEAKING PEOPLE

I MISS BIG SPACEY ROOMS

I MISS WARM WEATHER

I MISS MY INTERNET

bwahahaha.

I shall blog about my trip. Soon. =)

XIAOYUN!!! Get your butt back to KL. I miss you!!

2008-12-04T19:32:00.001+08:00

Goodbye world!

I'm all packed and ready! So pretty soon (7 hours to be exact) I will be waking up (If I sleep) and hopping on the bus to the airport for HongKong! :D

Will be back on the 10th at night so just text me if anything.

teeheeee

I'm excited. Can you tell? :p

CIAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOO!

2008-11-24T13:08:00.000+08:00

Before...

Well, before the holidays, I made a vow to never complain about being bored.

And I'm not!

Instead, I find myself racking my brain for something constructive and useful during the long break.

Bake?
I don't want to eat the results and get fat!!

Belly dance? =(
lost steam. haaah.

Pottery?
lazy.

Figure out guitar?
ugh. Then I'd need to practice!! im just too much of a sloth to do that right now.

and and, not forgetting the vow i made to read at least 10 books by the end of the year. (3 down, 7 more to go, any recommendations?)

And now I'm so groggy and grumpy because I stayed up till 4 finishing the amber spyglass, which is btw, one of the best books I've ever read. And it also happens to be one of the only two books I've cried for after reading. YES, I think it is that good.

If Xiaoyun has her Rob, and WH has his Lyra, Then I'm going to have my Zane. Who i've bet no one's heard of unless they've read the Uglies/Pretties/Specials/Extras books by Scott Westerfeld. & in case you're bored at home, YOU SHOULD READ IT!!! YOU SO SHOULD!! And no, it isn't chic lit. it's a delicate balance between fic/action/and hints of chic lit.

AHHH. but to no avail to the former plans. sighh*

I will think of my holiday plans. soon. (:

2008-11-18T22:32:00.000+08:00

Nostalgia.

Every year I have a song for myself. The song reminds me of a time when things used to be a certain way. The way it made me feel at that time comes rushing back, and I just can't help but wonder if I'd ever get to feel like that ever again.

The songs I've thought about are so personal, that they don't feel like songs anymore. They're moods now, and their bittersweet.

We've all changed so much, and it's so scary! from insecure gawky 13 year olds, we've discovered who we are on the dusty road to growing up. Even if we've felt awful and hurt on the way there, we were never alone. (:

So I thought I'd post some pictures. because they are worth a thousand words and they speak for themselves.

I love all of you!

2008-11-16T21:47:00.000+08:00

Yay me!!

Because I have officially finished a total of 14 hours of an extremely HARD CORE Physics and addmaths Seminar and have also lived to tell the tale.

The seminar was at KDU College and was facilitated by Sunny Yee. And, it's no use hiding! I know tons of you successfully convinced your parents not to take you there! ;P But it was great, factorizing out I spent about 14 hours over the course of two days on those two subjects with only one break in between each 7 hour stretch.

It was madness and I don't know how I survived!

Okay fine. Honestly, I thought the seminar was really good. The physics was really well explained. It was in depth and he did actually explain WHY it all went that way. Stuff like HOW the formulas were derived and all. Something Mr. Chin wouldn't be able to do in his mad quest for finishing off his planned work for the day. (:

This is why I do wish I listened more. Sam and I ended up stoning 2 hours of the physics class away! It was so hard paying attention after 3 and a half hours of addmaths in the morning. Sighh.

But overall, a great seminar!

And the best thing is, It made up for about a month and three quaters worth of tuition time I would usually take altogether. ;D

I guess college people get really bored too. ;P

happy holidays everyone!

2008-11-11T22:09:00.000+08:00

I feel like being alone and huddling under the covers of my comfy bed and drifting into a world of my own. I want to pretend for once that nothing matters and find that little part in me which is holding on to my optimism. Damn, I sure do miss it a lot. It's not gone completely but it's died down considerably.

Sometimes I feel like an introvert. nothing wrong with that eh? (:

And I'm not about to be soppy and be pathetic cause I'm not. Things are the way it is and I'm happy with it being that way. No fuss needed. And more than anything, I think i really do.

Don't worry! I'm not emo, just thinking. =)

2008-11-10T21:30:00.000+08:00

Oh no!

I'm red and blochy and it's all my fault!

So what? i didnt have time to look at the mirror at all today. So you know I very confidently brushed off various comments about how red I was. Suuureee. me being red is so of the norm, no? After all, I've been purple before!

HAHA. Then I came home and looked into the mirror and freaked! I am a blochy red monster! GARRRH.

And if you're expecting a picture of my ugly red blochiness, you can just forget about it. because I know I'm vain and I won't take a picture of my ugly red-ness for kicks. Ohhh no.

But other than being red and blochy by appearence, it is kinda entertaining lah. For starters, I laugh evertime I look into a shiny surface. =D

I've also sprained my ankle which now leaves the sprain count approximately 6 times or so in my four years of my teenage life. AGghhh. But the wonderful thing is that i'm so used to it that it heals really fast too. It sprains fast and heals fast. I'm not sure if that's a plus or not.

oh well...

i can't can't can't wait till the holidays! YAY! =D

blablabla lalala blablabla do da.
till next time. ;D

2008-10-31T14:27:00.000+08:00

At the top of the world. (:

it's amazing how you make me smile like an idiot every time i talk to you.

I'm Carpenter obsessed nowadays.

Karen carpenter looks like she'd just inhaled laughing gas here. HHAHAHA.

It reminds me of a time in kindy when tying my hair in a straight ponytail was the biggest of my worries.
OHH, gone are the days!

But really. I think they deserve a happy award. I wish there was a way to tell them how wonderful they are for making people like me happy. =)

To further fuel my happy happy mood, I shall present to you my good friend the kiwi. ;D YOU must must must absolutely watch it, because it is the cutest thing in the world. And because it has little tiny hands when it flies. (:

It's a tragic ending, but mind you, the moral value behind it is priceless!

See... Told you!

be prepared for more random things that make me happy!

My doggie makes me happy! :D

& my friends of course make me smile every time. (:

2008-10-29T20:47:00.000+08:00

Think again.

How many Chia Su-Yen's could there be in the world? & I thought I was special.

How annoying!!

It's so vain of me, but seriously. NOTHING seems to sound like me. suyenchia is taken and chiasuyen sounds like a mesh of words which don't make sense. My email add is in desperate need of a change. Why? because puppyluv is SOOO 12 year old. x)

But don't you dare laugh! I dare you to stare me in my eyes and tell me you haven't gone through that phase before. ppfftoooi.

LOUD was great. (: Uhm. Well missed quite alot of it, but it was great anyways. I was totally feeling lazy the day before, but i told myself I needed to get out and at least socialise with new people. I think I can be such an introvert at times.

But I met zoee and Jon Ho and a few of my fellow SIB-ians. Hahahaa! I still can't believe Jon plays the cello too. *GASP* I will post pictures as soon as I get them from ammyshay. (:

2008-10-27T21:38:00.000+08:00

I watched HSM 3!

and I loved it.

I don't care what all of you say! I think it rocked! Obviously you'd have to expect some amount of cheesiness and squeekyness from Gabriella, but still! I totally give them props for this last movie.

And despite all the criticism on the lame-ness and cheesiness of the whole HSM "trilogy", I really think the movie's inspired countless little kids in the world to be their best and chase after their dreams!

It may not be realistic but hey, I think we all need a little hope in our lives. Maybe if we keep that, the world would be a better place.

So YES, the story line's been cheesy, but so what?

I mean, despite it being cheesy, people still talk about it right? (don't deny it!) Maybe we're just a little tad bit jealous of how perfect their lives go. And even though that's just hollywood, it's nice to know that some people out there are living their dreams. And hey, if it hasn't impacted OUR lives, think about all the actors and actresses who are now famous because of HSM.

The choreography and music was just awesome! They all just ooze enthusiasm.

But, I'm not saying it was perfect lah. I just think it's what you should expect from a typically "disney" movie. :D

And we all know I'm a sucker for things like these, hmm?

So I support HSM3 not because it is waaaay better than the other 2 movies, or because some the cast became more good looking, but simply because this movie is so unrealistically optimistic.

Our world needs more of optimism. (:

2008-10-21T21:24:00.001+08:00

Return of the dead.

FINALLY. The stupid finals are over. That means I can come out of my little textbook filled bubble and come out into the open again, regaining my social skills (If any). :D

But first of all, A big apology to everyone I've ignored or snapped at this month or so. I'm sorry!

I've also took the liberty of updating links. So you people may click on very clickable links like AlexHooi the warewolf and EliseCheah, my nametwin. :D

OOH. So many things to do and catch up on! & not to mention people to appreciate. Xiaoyun darling for listening to my rants, lilipede for being there when I'm freaked out and Mr Jeremy Tan for the positive reinforcement. :D

But I shan't bore you to tears with my thank-you's and what could've been's.

Did you know they're decided to change Jalan Alor to Jalan Kejora???
Gah. I mean, you'd think the politicians are so busy politicing that they'd have no time to think about other stupid things right?

Proven wrong. I mean. It's a stupid street name for heavens sake! Like nothing to do only. xD

Like. HUUHHLOOO. Makes you just want to grab them by the shoulders and shake them right!?

They could be building more LRT stations and fixing up roads and yet they still find the time to change street names!! geese.

This pent up bad energy is bad for the soul. I shall blog next time!

Happy exam-free days everyone! :D

2008-10-20T20:42:00.000+08:00

Oh Oh oh!!

Did you know that Moby Dick (yes, the most famous fictional giant whale as depicted by Charles Dickens) has actually got an Albanian disease?

It's a disease that makes people/animals white-skinned and have very light coloured hair! Like an Ang Moh.

The only sad thing is that people with the disease are mostly blind. Which makes me wonder,

Was Moby Dick blind?

Reading the newspapers does have it's perks. Especially if you're trying to procrastinate from studying. Ahem* Oh well. It's just one more day! then I'm homefreeeeeeee!
whheeeee

lalalalalalalaa. Then I shall blog more. ;D

But for now, Addmaths and bio beckons me!

2008-10-10T20:30:00.000+08:00

That's what you get.

Until now, I have had no idea it was possible to have two mental breakdowns in the course of two days. But I'm okay! I guess we'll always get through it, hm?

Bible knowledge was okay! Only cause I studied. ;D

And I've also decided I don't take myself seriously enough. -.- It's the most annoying feeling ever. OH WELL.

Why do we have to hurt so much?

But I'm okay. Who needs to dramatize things right?

2008-10-03T13:56:00.000+08:00

My Summertime.

First of all...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LILIPEDE!!! =D

My friend with the large eyes and the happy smile. (:

Okay. that's all!

The thought of you makes me still makes me crazy.

2008-10-01T17:48:00.000+08:00

Why me?

Because you saw me when I was invisible.

I am a hopeless romantic sometimes. Unrealistic. but who doesn't want their princess or prince charming?

Imagine. There are approximately 6,602,224,175 people in the world.

& out of that number, there's at least 1 person made just for you.

Imagine the person thinking the exact same thing.

Do normal love clichés really exist?
Do you believe in love at first sight?
What if you never meet your soul mate your whole life?

It's called blind faith. Because I know I'll Know when it comes or if it does. =)

So does this post mean anything?

absolutely not.

It's just nice to know that there is someone there you know?

2008-09-29T13:20:00.000+08:00

Pity pity.

Here I am! I am alive! (: Don't worry, the tonne of studying hasn't killed me. ~~yet.~~

Which brings me to my next random point.

Which is heavier? A tonne of feathers or a tonne of bricks?
hmmmmmmm...
But wait! Think again! ;)

& I would also like to say that physics is the most retarded-est subject ever! Okay fine, it may be useful to some people who make careers our of it, but still!

Who cares about the velocity of an apple as it flies through the air and hits a wooden block??!

They should ask more applicable questions, like the question I just asked you. =)

ANYWAY. back to topic.

I am blogging because I feel like my blog is dead. But in actual fact, I am just looking for a reason to not go back to studying. Yay me!

I can't wait till everything's over! Then I swear I'll spend every waking moment of every day being thankful I have nothing to do. Yes, we should not take boredom for granted sometimes.

So, I will be doing a tag today! Because I was tagged from the one and only Quay. =D

1. Each player of this game starts off with 15 weird things/habits/little known facts about yourself.
2. People who get tagged need to write a blog of their own 15 weird things/habits/little known facts as well as state the rules clearly
3. At the end, you need to choose 10 people to be tagged and list their names
4. No tags back!

This should be easy! *Ahem*

I bite things when I'm nervous. (My nails and pen tips have fallen victim to this habbit.)
I like Disney songs! Although they get a tad bit annoying after a while.
I like alternative rock even though I don't look like it.
The Disney princess which best mirrors me is Meg from Hercules.
I care too much about how people feel sometimes.
I believe global warming is going to be the death of us all!!
I am weird. No, Reaally.
I say no when sometimes, I really mean yes.
I complicate simple things!
I wish I could belly dance and play the bass guitar.
I get very grumpy when I waste time.
I think I am going to end up a spinster. No, I'm not kidding!
I dislike milk and milo.
I have a soft spot for good boys.
My goal in the near future is to start an organic, self sustaining farm.

Yay! see, I did that so fast.

and now, its time to hit the books. x)

happy studying! =D

2008-09-11T20:53:00.000+08:00

Charity for Charity?

It's unavoidable and the silence is something I've been dreading. And the thing is, I don't know why. I don't even know why I care so much. & no, it's not what you think. I don't even know what to say. I'm not even that upset, just one of those things you wish you could fix, but you know you can't. How annoying. No?
I've decided that I get annoyed very easily. I've also decided that I don't trust donations in the form of money. I mean, Come on! you donate thousands and thousands, but what if only 10% of what you donate actually goes to the cause you donated for?

What happens to the other 90%?

So I conclude that I will never really trust any organization with money unless I handle the funds personally or get a dollar by dollar record of what they used the money for. So, that is why I am totally for donating food stuff and material things, because other than eating, what good is a can of tin tuna?

The world is full of fancy rich charity organizations which bring in sponsors by the millions. They have fancy installations, gatherings, meetings and councils for that sake. And more often than not, you're able to catch a glimpse of their fancy 'charitable' lifestyles on covers of magazines, widely publicized for the whole world to take a stand back and say, 'Hey, that looks cool! I wanna do something like that!'

sound familiar?

The point I'm trying to prove is that charity work should not just be about fund raisers and fancy dinners and functions, but about the community! Like duuuhhh, the whole point of having a charity organization is to HELP people, not get sucked into this intense world of "my charity drive is waay better than your charity drive"

We're better off channeling all that money we may use for formalities like dinners and installations to make a bigger difference! What's the whole point of raising a thousand dollars if only a hundred is REALLY going to get used by the organization?

We might as well just have a food sale, then donate absolutely all the money to that organization.

Right right?

2008-09-05T20:45:00.000+08:00

In love.

hah!! catch you by surpirse didn't I?

Omg. I've been looking everywhere for this piece! It's so incredibly addictive. xD

Too bad I can't download it. Stupid limewire.

2008-09-02T21:39:00.000+08:00

Ice Castle.

It'll be okay.

Yes it will, no matter how stupid this sounds right now. You're a wonderful person and i care for you! and you have to believe me, because I've been through it too. You just need to believe and have blind faith in the world that they love you for you. I'd hate it if you were anyone else. But when your chance does come, it's gonna take you by surprise and you're gonna love it, because you're beautiful inside & out. I'm worried about you!

And thanks for the party. One of the most memorable ones ever! (: Happy belated XiaoYun! and happy early Lionel!

love you guys. (:

2008-09-01T14:22:00.000+08:00

I don't like my blog.

because I've lost myself in it. It's my blog. What I think. And I'm selfish. So, don't link me if you don't know me or talk to me at all.

That will be all.

I don't just blog about social events. I don't party and have a social life. I blog what I think. And no, I'm not emo.

I just don't appreciate my blog being read by "adults" where they judge you and and say, 'oohh, she's just growing up.' I'm not mad. I just feel a little. uncomfortable. My blog is personal!

I don't want it!

I will blog more when i feel like it. As and when!

2008-08-25T14:04:00.000+08:00

Just two days late.

I had a spa day yesterday with my mum , JunHo's mum, and sister!

Suuure, we drove all the way to Awana Spa in Subang and paid money to spend the whole day lounging around and eating, but it was so worth it!

A spa's a spa's a spa. So you have your usual jacuzzi, sauna, comfy lounge where they put your legs up and cover them with a towel, and of course, the massage!

The massage room was really freaky. not scary I mean, it had nice japanese music in the background. but what really disturbed me was the bars on the ceiling. Yeah, BARS. Obvoiusly, they weren't just there for show. In fact, they were the most functional thing there.

and if you haven't already guessed it, YES. The bars were so that the chinese ladies giving the massages could step on you. So yeah! how many people can proudly say they've lived though the stepping massage? (btw, there is a specific name for that form of massage, but i just can't think of it right now.) sshh something. x)

I did wonder Though, how the chinese ladies looked standing on us. I mean, there were four of us in the room. I bet if someone were to look from the outside, It'd be really funny. Like how in cartoons when the people getting the massage are often gasping for breath while being stepped on!

And i wondered if the massage ladies gossip about you discreetly to her friends while you have your head face down in the massage bed. For all you know, they could be talking about how hairy your back is or how many zits you have there. didn't want to think about that.

It was really fun though. It is not at all like tv shows! And surprisingly, it didn't hurt much, The pain was more of the relaxing pain rather than the "ouchh i am going to die" type. :D

The robes they gave us were really comfy. it even came with disposable underwear! HAHA. I'm so jakun.

The jacuzzi. There were chairs in it. Which i thought was very clever!

The well equipt toilet. x)

The view from the lounge. It was raining...

The lounge. Thats my mother excited over her new mac.

My NABBQ (Non-Australian-BBQ) was a fun thing too. Admittedly, it was just to make myself feel better about not being able to go. But it turned out well. We all bonded, and it wasn't really the party party type, but more of the homey catching up with each other type. Something i've really missed this year.

There's only so much fun you can have at a party. but what really turns my mood around is being around people you know you can trust and like you just the way you are. That's what we really need sometimes. Not someone to talk you through your hard times, but just knowing there are people who really care.

Thank you all. =)

2008-08-23T22:24:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, Intensity kills.

Because you blanket yourself in to protect yourself. But when it comes, it hits you like a big red fire truck. And we wonder, will we ever have our turn in feeling that way? Do we once in our life, get to feel it too?

2008-08-18T23:07:00.000+08:00

Making your own fun.

I tried not to!! I tried!! But i just couldn't resist. =P

outside the Nike shop at MidValley......

But crack alert! :D

ANYWAYS, back to more important things. WH, ZW, Tim, Lili and I had a movie outing today. Lyssa and Tam decided to shop instead.

We watched Wall-e.

A hell of an adorable movie, and it's gotten the ChiaSuYen seal of approval! Watch it, and you'll know why. *HINT* it has something to do with machines taking over the earth and NOT using biodegradable's. -_______-

Enough said, What are you waiting for!? Go watch your Wall-e today.

Oh, and if you have the cheaplak pirated DVD type, don't bother watching it. Half the fun of the movie is to watch it in the cinema where the graphics and sound is a zillion times better. =) Plus it's the holidays! YOU should have tons of time to kill.

Recommended: Watch with significant other half (if any) or with bestie.

Why? Well, because the galaxy's only a wonderful place to visit if you have someone to share it with. =)

xxx

They say the only way you can have a great day is if you make it one.

And that's exactly what I intended to do. Until, I heard the familiar beep of my phone.

"IT'S REALLY FUN HERE PEARL. =P"

Yeeerrrr..... how not to be jealous right? gahh. x) idiot lah you, JunChuen. All the way from Australia sumore.

Hope you come back and read this!!!

And when you do, you better have candy for me. =)

2008-08-16T20:58:00.000+08:00

Plastic erasers and personality clichés.

By this time tomorrow, most of everyone'll be on the 6 hour plane ride to Perth.

I hate to be a sour puss but i can't help it! Oh well. On a lighter note.

Lookiee what I've found!!

It's the most gigantic-est eraser ever!

Sorry, the picture quality sucks cause my poor cam phone just can't handle it! I don't know why they decided to name it "plastic eraser" because it's not made of plastic at all. And it doesn't erase things off plastic either. Hmmm.. Maybe the eraser was having an identity crisis? poor soul, to be forever branded something it's really not, and to be found out after 15 years and blogged about by the purchaser's granddaughter!

Yes. I still remember kindy when my grandma used to force me to finish writing my chinese characters. She'd bring out the gigantic eraser and I'd intentionally make more mistakes so I can use it. :D

But in addition to it being really big, it's also really old. Like 15 years! ahahhaa. My grandma said she bought it in London while visiting my mum at college one year. she said she needed an eraser to write letters back home. HAHaa! i bet she thought it was cool then too. ;D

Anyways, I was re-reading my score on the personality test. Without knowing it, I actually have changed quite a bit this year. I'm no longer as optimistic as I used to be, but that could just be the world.

Conscientiousness..........61

Self-Efficacy............59

Orderliness..............11

Dutifulness..............54

Achievement-Striving.....82

Self-Discipline..........21

Cautiousness.............99

WH and I compared scores for this one. They were COMPLETE opposites!!

Orderliness. Persons with high scores on orderliness are well-organized. They like to live according to routines and schedules. They keep lists and make plans. Low scorers tend to be disorganized and scattered. Your level of orderliness is low. hahaha!!! Told you. :D

Cautiousness. Cautiousness describes the disposition to think through possibilities before acting. High scorers on the Cautiousness scale take their time when making decisions. Low scorers often say or do first thing that comes to mind without deliberating alternatives and the probable consequences of those alternatives. Your level of cautiousness is high. Maybe Too high. xD

Oh, but my favourite has got to be this one.

Intellect................20

Intellect. Intellect and artistic interests are the two most important, central aspects of openness to experience. High scorers on Intellect love to play with ideas. They are open-minded to new and unusual ideas, and like to debate intellectual issues. They enjoy riddles, puzzles, and brain teasers. Low scorers on Intellect prefer dealing with either people or things rather than ideas. They regard intellectual exercises as a waste of time. Intellect should not be equated with intelligence. Intellect is an intellectual style, not an intellectual ability, although high scorers on Intellect score slightly higher than low-Intellect individuals on standardized intelligence tests. Your level of intellect is low.

and Amen to that. =D

love.

2008-08-11T21:35:00.000+08:00

Why Don't we blog more?

Well, besides the obvious reason, time constraint, I've come up with a theory of why exactly we don't blog.

1. Because we have a certain way we perceive our blog to be and feel pressured by ourselves to blog a certain way all the time, forgetting that blogging is actually supposed to be spontaneous and for ourselves.

2. Because not blogging is the easy way out of how we may be feeling, or in some cases, how we don't feel for something.

3. Because we have expectations we expect ourselves to meet. A certain quota of words, imagery and mood we set. Eventually the pressure gets to us and we end up not writing at all.

4. Because writing about how you truly really feel about something might sometimes contradict how you are in real life.

5. And well, maybe because overally, sometimes we're scared our blog will reflect a different part of ourselves we're not ready to share with the world yet.

But you know, how you are with people doesn't make you, it's how you are when you're alone that really reflects who you are.

Think about it!

Career's day was somewhat interesting. The psychology lady was really nice. But I don't think I want to spend my life disecting every action random people do on the street. It's just so mind boggling!

She recommended a personality test. And if you're sitting at home with your pj's sipping a cup of hot milo, you should try it! because I for one don't think personality tests are worth taking, but somehow this one's different. It was mostly accurate for me, so no reason it shouldn't be for you!

Click!

Have a good day! =D

2008-07-31T20:17:00.000+08:00

It's Always New Day.

So typical isn't it? a teenager's life is one filled with mixed feelings and emotions 24/7 hours of the day.

For example. I was feeling freaking angry at the immaturity of *person not to be named* and handling so called "problems". you don't SUSPEND people for deviating from script lines and being late to concert. I feel sorry that you have to result to such immaturity just because you can't deal with the fact that someone has a better point than you. Your're a sad person with pride issues and I understand why you don't have any friends. (:

And now I'm a wee bit more upset that I'm not going to Australia with everyone. As if I don't feel isolated enough. And i really did want to go.

And even recently I feel like i have so many things to do but I just can't bring myself to do it!! My Piano and cello exam's in two weeks and my scales will kill you. I know it has already eaten half my ear out. -.- Doing my homework is a killer and so forget about revising or anything. I can't even sit down to do my own work. siigggggh

Oh Oh. And now that I think of it. i should mention it just for the record. The monitor's trip was okay lah. I wrote that post ignoring all the bad things, thus making it sound better than it deserved. The number 1 let down is that it was way too expensive. 200 bucks for a night and a day and a half. No activities whatsoever except for the basket making and the fruit festival. WHICH, by the way, after some research was a huge rip off.

RM4 for 1 kg of fruits is definitely NOT cheap at all. In fact, You could get better fruits from the city for a cheaper price. luckily we used coupons to buy them. But wait, we paid for those too. -.-

And NOW, I think people who misuse air-conds should be strung up, turned upside down, and dragged to an abandoned playground in the middle of the scorching sun and FRIED!!!! How's that for a taste of your own medicine you environmental inconsiderate LOSERS! May you choke to death on your own CFC emissions by the retarded air conds.

And now I think I'm going a little crazy cause only I can stay really bugged and disturbed by some people leaving their air cond in their apartment on 5 DAYS IN A ROW while they are not even in the bleeding country!!!!!!!

Oh, don't get me wrong. I think air-conds are a life saver many of the time. But you should only use them to the minimum!! Even now, It's like 35 degrees but you don't see me switching it on.

No you don't! I don't care if I sweat while typing this.

because.

I CARE ABOUT THE ENVIRONMENT!

and you should do. If you had any common sense.

2008-07-26T19:28:00.000+08:00

The Simple Life, Monitor style.

I am back! Yes, while most of you were busy running around Kl looking for clues, I and my faithful monitors were in the jungle eating fruits and making baskets without a worry in the world. The closest thing we could really worry about was when our next meal would be or whether the rambutans at the rambutan tree across the road would taste good. Now that you think of it, it does sound very lame. Monitor trip to uh, where?!

In Big bold letters. The fantabulous, Negeri Sembilan!

So it was a good 45 mins to an hour's ride there. Precisely enough to yap all we want but not get bored. :D We got to this field which was really bare, and got down from the bus. There was nothing there but trees and mountains and the air was noticeably and pleasantly carbon monoxide free. So we got into separate cars which took us deeper inside to the Kampung area. You would think that there would be no carved path for cars and all, but on the contrary. There were real actual TAR roads! OH, and even 10 year olds ride motorcycles!*gasp*

Arrival!! the "Damn, why are we even here!?" face.

Of course it got better. Everyone perked up when...

Qi Wei climbed a tree and handed out rambutans!! HAHA, okay, maybe he didn't climb the tree, but we still had rambutans. What a way to start the day right? food upfront.

Dan and his rambutan orgasm. :D

After being assorted to our foster parents, (Did i mention it was home stay? :)) we jumped into our foster parent's (FP) car and followed them home.

We were doggy tagged! if found, please return to *blank* family

roomies.

The back door which leads to the back. Full of kampung characteristics. note the chickens and cats living in harmony and the durians (some half eaten) sprawled on the floor. Now, THAT'S life. :) The scenery was gorgeous! Everything was so peaceful, so sleepy, so undisturbed. I am seriously considering building my holiday home on a hill in the middle of nowhere. maybe a nice comfy small house with good plumping and a vegetable patch. aaahhh...

Note mountains. :D I bet the scenery if i built my little cottage there would be awesome.
Then it was back to the balai raya. The whole kampung reminded me of learning geo again. with all the peta topografi's, makro and mikro's, and how I struggled to differentiate a Balai polis and a balai raya. LOL. There was even a proper PLASTIC playground at the Balai Raya. We spent most of our time here, releasing the child in us!

Note: The BR is just a central building, with a hall and a place to gather. like a multi purpose gathering spot!

Then it was demo time.. . So they showed us how to turn this...

Into this! :D My very proud creation! And the process...

Then there was a traditional musical instrument demo after this. They kept playing the same song over and over again until it got so annoying!

Then we had a turn too. The dudes at the cek Lempong (bell thing) looked so annoyed. Poor thing must've taught like 50 over tourists the same song already. lol!

There was free time after this, So we basically roamed around the kampung streets till like 8.30 when it was time to come back to the BR for dinner. It started raining though, so Yein, Val and i borrowed an umbrella from our mother and went strolling along in the rain. We kacau-ed the guys and made them come along with us too. :D

by now we were already so settled in. So much so that they decided to marry John and Yein in a traditional wedding. Complete with the costumes and ceremonies. It was cool lah, they actually carry their bride and groom into the wedding place. The guests and all follow behind... And since I was one of the "guests" I had to be behind and so you're only gonna get shots of their butts!

The night went on.. It was basically just dance, music, dance, music in that order for a few times. So the guys in black would take the left part of the stage to play music while the girls took the right side. Somehow, I don't think it's really that different from us. because you know, as the girls dance, you can see the murmuring and whispering among the guys who are on the stage watching them. hmmm.... Sorta like how we watch and sometimes giggle at guys who play basketball or any type of sport for that matter. =D

I wonder if they go telling their friends, 'Hey! i'm dating that girl. You know, the one which looks really pretty in the red kurung. Yeah! the one who was dancing in the middle. i think she's so hot!" isn't it just such a cool thought? :D And they're all so sweet. They give their girlfriends rides on their motorcycles back home. awww.

Musicians

Entering the BR with all of us at the back!

Ga Joon's adorable here. x)

Our family! minus Ga Joon and John. Did you know that most of the people there have very large families. An average of 5 children per household.. Our dad was so typical. He kept talking about studying hard and building a rocket that could 'pecut' or something like that for the future. All because we told him we were in science stream. hahahaaa! He's the blur looking guy in the middle if you're wondering.

Then we went home, took a cold shower, and did what we always do best. ;)

Camwhore. :)

The next morning was so unplanned. Geese, because of a certain mosquito, who didn't even tell us what time to meet back! There was a pesta buah-buahan the next day, It's like a carnival with lots of food and fun competitions. They had fruit carving, fruit arrangement and cooking competitions. And the best part is, they gave us 15 dollar coupons to buy fruits! we ate a lot there, and I brought back like 6 kilos of mangoesteens, langsats and rambutans back. The mangosteens were heaven.

Crap! ran out of space. Next post please! :D

2008-07-25T15:25:00.000+08:00

Continued!

you'd think that no one would show up for a fruit festival in the middle of the jungle. it was so not the case this time. There were people from all over. Even some from kl.

And our mother took part in the cooking competition...

That's her pounding.. uh, something.

There was a rambutan wall!

The mangosteens were the best part. I bought like 3 kg but discovered i took the wrong bag of fruits home.. =( so sadly, i did not bring enough home. pity.

And going home. We all got paper bags with biscuits and kuih bahulu. :D

pepsi cola! x)

And the little boy who spits at people. It's okay Cardin, I think he likes you. (:

So yeah, that concludes my trip to the jungle. Our dad promised he'd take us fishing and jungle trekking if we came back. Hmmmmmm.....

Maybe next year.

<3